Paying the piper

Would this face look this cute at 4:30am? Every morning? Because that's when he's waking up. Consistently.


We didn't think so either. But as he is our child and lives at our house, we (and that's a royal We) are obligated to do something about it.

I dissected Patrick's schedule for possible conflicted. Naptime? Food? Wet diapers? How the hell do I fix this? What was once an occasional anomaly was now a predictable routine. Shit. I even broke one of my own "rules" and tried bringing Patrick into bed with me for some snuggle/sleeping. For two minutes, I thought I was onto something. Then he popped up, threw himself out of the bed and ran...RAN! out the door and down the stairs, to where breakfast and Charlie and Lola were waiting.

And I tried this twice. Got me nowhere.

Upon serious reflection, I was reminded that most of my parenting issues have been the result of shoving his needs aside for my own. While I'm immediately satisfied, the dept is incurred and called due in ways I would never predict. Like a 4:30am wake up call.

I started remembering all those events where I pushed his sleep time just a little bit later. The playdate with my girls when the gossip was just getting good. The dinner party where the kids finally left us alone with the wine bottle. They playground when my Mom and I lost track of time. The errands that went too long. The bedtime routine started too late.

My needs over his.

The piper has arrived.

So I have a plan. I'll need to be disciplined and consistent. Hopefully it won't take as long to reset his clock as the books seem to think. Thank goodness I'm a morning person. This would kill somebody less..perky...in the AM. You known who you are, missy. :)

The Plan: What we are already doing
1. Naptime starts between 11am-12pm
2. Dinner/playtime/tv time/bath/jammies/snack/teeth/books/nurse/bed
3. Down to sleep between 7:30-8pm

The Plan: What's new
1. We will not screw with these times. No pushing it because "he's doing OK." I've already left a MOPS meeting and dinner down the street earlier than I liked to stick to this.
2. I'm not getting him out of bed before 5am. I'll change his diaper, give him some water, and offer books, but he stays in his crib until 5am.
3. Naptimes don't go longer than 2 hours. A 3.5 hour break in the afternoon was great, but I realized that the long naps were compensation for an early morning. Toddlers sleep an average of 12-14 hours in 24 hours. Hopefully he'll sleep more at night with a shorter nap.

This has been my biggest sleep issue. He's lovely with the rest. Patrick naps well (and heavily) with no fussing. And given enough wind-down time, he goes to bed really nicely with no fights or hysterics. He sleeps great on his own. I'm OK that he's an early kid. This is just a bit much.

Wish me luck.

For My Mother, Whose Eyes Aren't So Good

473.15

that includes Kevin's suit

:)

I'm giving up self-restraint for Lent

Kevin always jokes that the time between me talking about buying something and actually going to the store and paying money is about six months.

So it was with a fearful heart that I planned my morning of baby-free shopping, to be concluded with a family trip North to H&M (for Kevin) and Sephora (for me). Because even when I plan to buy something and have actual cash to pay for it, I second-guess myself. Is this really the best use of my money? Shouldn't I spend it on something else? What if it's a bad purchase? What if I don't like it? If I was buying, say, a new house, this could be partially reasonable. But I can spend just as much time fussing over a 2.99 Burt's Bees Lip Balm. Seriously. And if I was going to spend some money, I want to enjoy it! Kevin talked me down more than once last night, and sent me off with a kiss to blow some cash.

And blow I did.

Such a nice amount of swag, huh?

Fred Meyer: OPI "I'm Not Really A Waitress" nail polish. Maybelline Lip Gloss and eyeliner. Two shirts and a pair of shorts for Patrick off the 70% additional clearance rack.

Target: Two pairs of lounge pants (one pair might be returned...who am I kidding...I'm keeping both) in black and dark teal. A short-sleeved green t-shirt for St. Patrick's Day (impluse for $4). Fancy-pants hairspray. Olay Regenerist face serum. Garnier Fructis eye cream. Burt's Bees Lip Balm. Almay eyeshadow. Cover Girl eyeshadow. Sonia Kushuk blush brush. Jergen's Natural Glow Healthy Complexion with SPF 20.

And now, the mall.

Gene Juarez: Essie "Mademoiselle" nail polish. (both nail polish colors were recommended by Nadine Haobsh, the author of "Beauty Confidential." My goal is to keep renewing it from the library and never give it back. I carried it in my purse all day for reference). This was the only place in town that sold it to non-cosmetologists.

Old Navy: One bucket hat on clearance. One patterned t-shirt that I used my 40% off coupon. A bright teal scarf. (Another impulse)

Victoria's Secret: I was lured in by a new bra for a discounted price in the window, and remembered that they had some fun makeup. The bra didn't work. More architecture is needed. But I found a gray zip hooded sweatshirt for a nice sale price. Lip Stain. Lip Gloss. Shimmery black eye-liner.

Now I have to pick up Patrick, who is fast asleep on the couch at day care. Nancy (day care lady) and I talk about schedules, sleeping, and meal. She agrees that Patrick is a pretty scheduled kid, likes to graze, and was pretty punky today. As he spent over an hour refusing to go back to sleep, then 40 minutes screaming his head off about it, I'm not surprised.

Home to Daddy, then off to the fancier mall. Kevin shops first, and gets a FAB deal on the nicest jacket and slacks for Arizona, the inspiration for most of my shopping as well. Dark gray with white pinstripes. He'll wear it with a pink-on-pink lightly striped button up from the Gap, and plans on getting a shiney solid pink tie to match. Hot hot hot! He spends less than $80 today.

Patrick and I spend most of our time going up and down the escalator.

Then Daddy takes over, Patrick is off to the play area, and I waltz into Sephora. The best aspect to Sephora is the ability to play with loads of different brands without needing a sales associate hovering. The aplicators, makeup remover, and garbage cans are scattered throughout. And there is lots of help and advice as well. I found loads of stuff that someday I will not be able to live without. I still love my Bare Escentuals, it's not the fastest routine. I want something a little quicker as the warm weather hits. So I'll be saving my pennies after I buy a guitar with my share of opera money.

This was my most expensive trip. Shu Uemura eyelash curler (Nadine says it's the best). Tarte A Perfect Whirled Natural Cheek Stain. Lancome Definicles Mascara. A BE Flawless Finish Brush. BE Prime Time. Stila Kitten eyeshadow. The other Stila cream was my free sample.

Mom, you could probably look up the price of all that stuff. But you really don't want to. Your head would explode.


And I still need a dress and shoes for the wedding!

Life in the fast lane

I got to be the charge nurse the last two days at work. I kind of like it; it's a different challenge and I get to tell people what to do. Occasionally, people actually listen to me. But it's rough to keep everything in hand and juggle all the needs that hit the floor. On days like today, I'm reminded why I really love my job and the people I work with.

We had an emergency today. A prolapsed cord: the umbilical cord slips in front of the head and into the vagina after amniotic membranes are ruptured. The cord is crushed by the head, limiting blood flow to the baby. This is an obstetrical emergency and requires a "crash" c-section.

A cord prolapse occured at 4:02. By 4:06 we were in the ER with the 12 doctors, nurses, NNP's, and associated staff needed to quickly get a baby delivered. The surgery begun at 4:12 with the patient safely asleep. At 4:14 a crying baby was delivered.

Mom and baby are great.

This, my friend, is what I do at work side by side with the best nurses in town.

This is what happens when your child picks his own clothes. We even changed clothes because he wanted different ones on. Originally, my son was wearing a cute yet casual play outfit of a gray tee-shirt and navy fleece pants. Later he wanted: A navy and yellow striped polo, orange corduroy pants, a red and blue jacket, and leg warmers (they are called babylegs, baby accessories for yuppie parents) with skulls on them. Stylin'

When Grandma comes to visit

Thanks again Mom for entertaining the (sometimes reluctant) child, letting us sleep in (it was another 4:30am morning), watching all the kids outside while Em and I gossiped, babysitting so Kevin and I could get a grown-up drink, getting those groceries, and overall being wonderful. I'm so lucky.

And what's new with you?

It's the same one I posted on Facebook, for those of you who can't get off the internet.

The internet is really really great! For....

20 months

Dear Patrick: You are 20 months today!



I'm afraid it's been a few months since I've written. The demands of daily life took over, and you just kept growing up despite my lack of official documentation. And your changes come on so minutely, and I forget your babyhood isn't static and unchanging. Until I look closely one day and I realize you have all these new skills that blossomed all at once.


Daddy and I are truly loving your ever-increasing communication skills. While you don't have lots of obvious words yet, we are able to understand each other most of the time. You can tell us (or show us) who you want, what you want to eat (cheese, crackers or marshmellows mostly), what we should read, what body part has an owie and needs kissing, and that you are ready for your crib. "Da" is still an all purpose work, but the occasional "no" had entered your vocabulary. And I'm sure I heard you say "firetruck" the other day.


And that leads me to another huge interest: trucks, trains and buses. The only way you could be more of a male stereotype is if you started watching football every Sunday. Lord knows you already want to hog the remote. But you love you some buses. Whenever you start fussing in the car I start asking you to look for a bus. Luckily, there are lots in Tacoma! They always get a big response. We also took you on the LINK light rail downtown, which you found quite exciting.


The way you play with your toys has also become much more sophisticated. You like to put your tracks together for your trains, drive your matchbox cars up and down the hallway, and crash your variety of dumptrucks. You play "Hide the Remote" where you shove it into the couch cushions, look at use, shrug your shoulders and say what I'm sure is "Where is it? I don't know" but is rather hard to tell. We also play a version of Hide-and-Seek where I throw a blanket over you, run to some obvious hiding spot (like behind the stroller), and you come and find me. The puzzles that were once too hard you now complete independantly. We can ask you to get the green one, or the square, or the giraffe, and you get the right one....about half the time. You also seem to understand when we say "That's right!" or "Nope, try again."

I'm hoping the day will come when I'm not obsessed with your sleeping and nursing habits. But we've had some ups and downs here. I try not to go overboard with your sleeping. We stick to a good nap/bedtime routine, but sometimes life just gets in the way. Or illnesses. Or molars. Or nightmares. Or Daddy thumping around the kitchen before work. Or Freya barking at air. 19 months was a rough stretch. You started getting up consistantly at 4:30am, and you would be UP. Out of bed, down the stairs, and into your high chair for a snack UP. This was painful. I don't know if anything we did made a difference, but it's not so bad anymore. Sometimes you will even sleep past 7am. This is a good day. I've also been slowly weaning you, a process that has gone much better than I would have anticipated. Other than a few protests, you've adapted nicely. This tells me that I should give you more of a chance to grow from these changes.


Here's a situation where I can learn from your Daddy. I got out of the habit of being on the computer with you. You just wanted to push all the buttons, pound on the keyboard, and play with the mouse. "No no" I'd say, and you'd ignore me. I'd get the same look from the dogs, the "I don't speak English dog." Until I came home one day to find Kevin merrily typing away and you playing on the floor with toys like an angel. "I just kept telling him no and he learned," Daddy said. Grrrr. I've been played! It was a good reminder to be consistant with discipline, and not just give in out of ease. As you get older, it's a lesson I remind myself over and over again. Better to do it now then when you are fifteen.

You are a joy and blessing to us. We love being your Mommy and Daddy. Now could you just say "Mama" already?
Love,
Mommy

Adults Only Weekend (or if I've written about this before and forgot, please forgive me)

No, we aren't participating in some version of East of Eden.

But in the horizon lies an opportunity to be child free for 40 hours. And I cannot wait.

Kevin's cousin, Doug, is getting married to the lovely Rachel. They live in Arizona. They want to get married here. Isn't it fancy? I'm guessing somebody has some cash to spend on a party, because this ain't cheap people. Because we love a good party and other-people's weddings, we cannot wait.

But a dilemma arose. Patrick or no Patrick? At first I was insistent. Yes, we have to bring the toddler. Who cares that it's two plane rides in 40 hours, or that we'll have to figure out how to get him to sleep in a hotel room while we hang out in the hallway, or that he'll NEVER sit still during the ceremony or reception, or that we'll spend even more money we don't have taking him there. It's a family event! All the other (four) cousins will be there! We want to introduce him to family!

Then the reality of the weekend set in. And I asked myself: Does this choice truly work for our family? Does it work for Patrick? Does it work for our finances?

The answer was no. In fact, other than the pleasure of showing him off to family, bringing him on this condensed trip sounded pretty miserable. We thought about the last Arizona trip, and the experiences of our toddler niece and her parents. Ugh.

It also helped that my mom, upon hearing about this wedding, said "I'll come up and watch Patrick and the dogs."

Because she's awesome like that.

So the choice was gleefully made. A grown-up vacation! Time to read, hang by the pool, drink Margaritas (unless I'm pregnant), party it up at this swanky-swank wedding, and enjoy other people's children minus responsibility for my own. We are going to get pampered in the spa and order room service for breakfast. I'll buy a new dress! And it's an excellent excuse to be 95% weaned by April. The weather should be in the 80's in April, by the way.

I'll be honest, not all were pleased by this choice. But they were respectful and kind, which was very appreciated. The question was jokingly raised about who we would hang out with since everybody else would have kids with them? Hmmm...a hotel room all to ourselves without any children, dogs, or responsibilities? I'm sure we'll come up with something, but any suggestions would be taken under consideration.

Having to choose between making some applesauce and shaving my legs, I think the shaving will win. But only because I can sit down at the same time.

Kevin is off at rehearsal for Faust, and by all accounts should be a great show. Nancy and Craig watched Patrick, Danica, and Freya (because they are all pretty needy) while I worked this weekend. My house is now really clean...thanks Mom!

I've been up too late and am now paying the price. Between Facebook, cooking chores, wine tasting dinners, family conversations, and a damn sexy husband, I have not been making my 9pm bedtime. Since I'm not 18 anymore, my face shows it.

And by the way, Ladies, for those of you safely out of your twenties, talk to me about skin care. It's only recently occurred to me that I might need to change it up from when I was 15 years old. What do you guys like? And then we'll work on my Mom. I've caught her washing her face with HANDSOAP. And she didn't understand why I freaked.

Patrick was the only one who got a Valentine's Day present. Knuffle Bunny by Mo Willems.

For a split second, I thought about posting my recipe for Better Than Brownies.

But I don't want other people to make them. I want to be invited to parties where people want to eat them! So you aren't getting it. Invite me to your house and I will bring them.

And they are so very good.

Patrick is feeling better. We had a lovely playdate today with MOPS, and the girls are coming over tomorrow. 12 or more children will run all over my house. I love it.

But on the list of silly chores that will make my life easier, I need to do something with the pictures on the computer. We have multiple CD's after having to reboot the computer more than one. I can't find a damn thing, and they aren't labled at all. Some pictures suck and should be deleted. Just add it to "The List." And we all have that list, don't we ladies.

Senior Year Flashback

This was also posted to Facebook. I'm posting it hear so I don't get crap from my Mom. Hi Mom!

1. Did you marry someone from your high school?
No, but I did marry somebody from Reynolds!

2. Did you carpool?
Walked or bummed rides from Eric, Glen, and Sara. Lots of ride bumming.

3. What kind of car did you have? Nancy's white Subaru! Terrible car to make out in, stick shift and all.

4. What kind of car do you have now?
Subinator and a VW station wagon....but the next car WILL be a minivan. Kevin gave in.

5. What kind of job did you have in high school?
Dairy Queen, Blockbuster Video, The Limited. Not all at the same time.

6. What do you do now?
Labor and Delivery Nurse at an inner city hospital

7. Were you a party animal?
I wish. My brothers got all the coolness in the family.

8. Were you considered a flirt?
Probably, but not a successful one, mores the pity. In retrospect, it was easier to be trampy in college when none of my boyfriends knew each other!

9. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
Choir, one of my very favorite memories.

10. Can you sing the fight song?
why would I want to do that?

11. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)?
Mr. Herring for English because he didn't think I was the type to copy a paper on Hamlet. But I did, thanks Glen!

12. Where did you sit during lunch?
Newspaper room because most of the boys I liked hung out there. Not that it did me any good.

13.What was your favorite item on the lunch menu?
I brought my sack lunch, a habit that continues to this day.

13. What was your school's full name?
Gresham High School

14. When did you graduate? 1996

15. What was your school mascot? Gopher

16. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
Oh, I'm sorry, I had to finish ripping my spleen out with a butter knife, what were you saying?

17. What do you remember most about graduation?
I wore a red dress, tried to balance time between my divorced parents, and my mom chaperoned the all-night party (of course)

18. Who did you take to the senior prom?
Jared-from-the-houseboat families. I was going to take some other younger boy, but he dropped out the Monday before prom. By a note he sent from PE. And I think he mis-spelled a couple of words. Jared came through last minute. And we had a lovely time.

19. Are you planning on going to your 20 year reunion?
I think I'd really love to.

A glimpse of my old routine

It's amazing what can be accomplished sans toddler.

After two days at home with a sick boy (where he really didn't act sick but would randomly throw up on me), he was all better and off to daycare. He really likes it there; Kevin says Patrick cries when he leaves her house.

I begrudgingly got up with Patrick this morning (Please let me sleep in! mumbles husband). But once I got started....wow!

Both bathrooms cleaned
Laundry
Boring office work
Cooking
Errands to multiple stores
Library
Lunch by myself
Pedicure!
An hour walk with puppies

I even made it to church with Patrick tonight for Bible study and Holden Evening Service. After I nursed him down, I started on my Better Than...Brownies (because it's up to you to decide what they are better than) and a root vegetable gratin. The low-fat kind, with a cup of heavy cream and two cups of cheese.

Challenges

I'm browsing the Facebook photographs. I'm looking at my own limited supply (most photos on other hard drive, need husband to navigate).

And a question arises.

What picture do I post on Facebook?

For those not familiar (my Mom), Facebook is pretty private. Ya'll have to be invited to see what's going on, versus my blog which more people have access to. As one is searching for familiar names, a picture can accompany it. Plus, photos are just more fun!

But it's rather a delicate choice. I want to be recognizable, so a close up of my face is nice. I'm vain enough that I want to look cute and thin. But not like I'm trying too hard to be cute and thin. Like it just comes naturally, "Oh look! A camera! Take this spontaneous and natural photo of me!" I do not want to look like some tramp who is trolling for old boyfriends on line. Do I include Kevin or Patrick in this picture? Do I have any pictures of myself without a husband or child in them? Sadly, probably not as every picture I have of myself in the last 20 months is from me thrusting a camera in my husband's hands and demanding one.

So I posted this one. Of the five pictures I can find on the computer while Kevin is at rehearsals for Faust, this one is the best. At least I don't look chubby.

If I never blog again, it's because all you horrid people coerced me into Facebook.

Bitches.

Thanks to Raissa and Joel for the lovely dinner even though I just showed up unannounced. And it was their idea.

Today was my first day of cutting Patrick off his morning nursing. I'd strategized a few things and discussed it with Kevin, who was in full agreement and very supportive.

But it was lovely today to hear Patrick fuss at 5am, elbow Kevin and say, "He's up, you're on." and stay in bed another 30 minutes. Until we're in a good new routine (and when Kevin doesn't have a morning shift), the mornings now belong to Daddy. Mwahahahaha.

I had some time to myself on Saturday. A co-worker had a 30th Birthday Party at Masa. Kevin picked my outfit, I put on some makeup and freshened up my new haircut. Kevin was left at home with child, hee hee!

I must have received twenty compliments on my hair (lots on the hair), outfit, and overall cuteness factor of the night.

Two thoughts came to mind.

One, I must be looking TOPS tonight!

Two, or I normally look so haggard at work that some hairspray and lipgloss surprise eveybody with their effectiveness.

Kevin is on full-time dad duty this afternoon. I told him I had stuff to do and needed a break before he went all opera MIA. I'm doing laundry, getting my haircut, and drinking free wine at Metropolitan Market.

I swear, that toddler whine is designed to melt the flesh off my bones.