22 months

Dear Fiona: You are 22 months old!

I keep thinking of this as your first Christmas. It's not. Obviously. But your current level of enthusiasm for life makes it all so fresh and new. We have the house all decorated and you just love it. You have commandeered all the stuffed toys, and you walk around the house with your arms crammed full of snowmen and dogs wearing hats. The bottom half of our Christmas tree is in a permanent state of dismantle. The child-safe ornaments are scattered throughout the house, inside your dump trucks or in a pile on the couch. The chocolate advent calender is a big hit, but I'm also hoping you'll like the holiday books I've spread about downstairs. Naturally, the Dora book is a hit. Damn Dora and her map, anyways.


You can say Patrick's name so clearly, and I adore hearing you call his name. The other day you brought him your string cheese to open. "Help me, Patrick." You are true siblings, making each other crazy while delighting in the company of the other. You argue with him about the chosen TV show. The correct answer is Diego. To which Patrick answers, "We are NOT watching Diego!" Then I silently apologize to my Mom, yet again, for the 15 years of bickering she endured.

Someday soon I'll cut your hair. You look like the proverbial ragamuffin but I love it. Just like I love your mismatched clothes, Diego snow books, messy face, and padded cloth diaper tush. I love that when I nurse you, you are my baby for a few minutes.

Love you!
Mommy

Thankful

Chase family Thanksgiving was held on location in Tacoma today. Five family members made the drive up: Mom plus her parents (89years old each!) in one car, my younger brother Dave and his lovely wife Beth joined the party after they completed their Black Friday shopping. Plus Bug the dog! The biggest disappointment was Kevin's absence, as he had an afternoon shift at work. Luckily I bought a TWENTY POUND TURKEY so there are plenty of leftovers.

Menu:
Alton Brown's roast turkey
Orange Vanilla Cranberry relish
Sausage and Cornbread dressing
Shredded Brussle Spout salad with bacon
Dijon Mustard and Cheddar potato gratin
Grilled asparagus
rolls
WINE AND BEER
pecan and pumpkin pie with fresh whipped cream lightly sweetened and a touch of orange oil

It was a blast, so much to laugh with everybody, Patrick loved getting Uncle Dave to play Star Wars and Fiona read books with Auntie Beth. By the end of the day we were all pretty overstimulated (the downside of a small house). Fiona had missed her nap, and Patrick lost all resemblance of impulse control. Bath, books, and bed by 7pm. Thanks to all the help from the fam the house is cleaned up and I'm enjoying a "For Crying Out Loud" podcast with my glass of wine. I'll order my Sweet Hope chocolates and off to bed.

And my anxious, worrying little heart is thankful for all of it.

The Best Yet

We took the kids to get holiday photos done at the mall today. This is usually a mom-only event, and ever since Patrick turned two and Fiona was born it's been quite the fiasco. Nobody wants to wear their holiday clothes, kids sit still for a milisecond (and the photographers keep waiting for the perfect pose. Take the damn picture), and I'm trying to wrangle everybody to just cooperate for the love of God.

So I was expecting a bit of the same this year but feeling better with Kevin along for the ride. Earlier in the week Patrick chose his Christmas outfit at the store. I was hoping for some willingness to actually wear said outfit. Last year he wore his vest for the 10 minutes it took to get a photo, and that was the end of the vest. Fiona wore the Hanna Anderssen black velvet overalls that my sister-in-law gave Patrick when he was 6 months old! They are a bit short in the leg. So they are Hobbit overalls. Super cute Hobbit overalls. Kevin promised the kids a ride on the mall's Christmas train if they did a good job.

And darn it, they did GREAT! Wore the clothes, cooperated for the photographer, sat/stood still on mark, and just were super cute and charming. Patrick was especially sweet and so proud of himself for doing it "right." While Fiona was a normal 21 month old, she went along with the program enough to get some good shots. It's always hard to choose, but we got some good ones for family presents.





The kids had a great time on a train. Kevin rode with them, and we feel like we got a good deal at $3 a head. Definitely for the younger set, as it was a slow and steady pace. But the ride lasted about 5 minutes and they got a nice loop around the mall.



Oh, and Patrick let Kevin spike his hair!

Two Hours

I'm heading back to work Monday after a 10 day stretch off.

I am tired of the children.

They are tired of me.

Yesterday started with Patrick and I having an altercation over oranges and apples, and continued along the theme of Rebel Yell (They rebel, I yell) until bedtime at 7:18pm.

The plan was to hit Top Foods for some groceries and say Hi to Daddy who was covering the AM shift at the in-store Starbucks. The kids woke up before 6am. By 7am they had sippy cups of milk, breakfast on the Wiggles table, and Dora in the DVD. I hit the shower.

Two hours later, I was out the door with my sanity MIA. Why does it take two hours to get one adult and two small children ready for the day?

1. I kept getting out of said shower to remove Fiona from various dangerous and elevated areas of the bathroom. Finally I just shut her out. She sat and cried outside the bathroom door for the remainder of the shower.

2. As I got dressed, put on a bit of makeup, and used a blowdryer, the children helpfully helped themselves to my makeup and perfume. "Mommy! I smell good!"

3. "Fiona, lets put on a daiper!" "NO!!!!!" and my giggling girl flipped up and ran off. We repeated this scene multiple times until she was pinned for the dressing endevour. More screaming.

4. Anybody who expects a preschooler to put on clothes (including underwear) socks AND shoes upon first request is delusional.

5. Pack diaperbag with diapers, snacks, sippy cup, wallet and phone, find the keys, and gather all the cold weather gear. The kids refuse to wear coats. Make sure it all gets into the car.

6. Shit, where IS my coffee?

7. Find and replace Fiona's socks and shoes. Tell Patrick again to get his shoes.

8. Start loading car. Patrick runs outside and immediately pours water all over his pants and shoes. Replace Patrick's pants, socks, and shoes.

9. Fiona has a big poop.

10. Patrick asks for a drink of water. On attempt to put cup on the counter, it falls and dumps water all over the shoe bucket. Clean up water and set shoes in front of the heater to dry. Reassure weepy son that is was an accident and he is not in trouble.

11. Get children and insane Mommy into the car. Don't forget your coffee. Check for diaper bag, wallet and phone, shopping bags, winter gear, and personal sanity.

How to have a great trip to Great Wolf

This last week we took the kids to Great Wolf and drug my Mom along for good measure. Kevin was giddy with excitement and Patrick could barely contain himself in the car. They swam hard, played hard, enjoyed lots of cookies and ice cream before dinner, watched lots of TV, still woke up early, and spend the last 48 hours recovering from the stress by being little punks. Patrick loved all the big rides, Fiona liked the hot tub best, us grown ups hit all the big rides, and we can't wait to do it again. They were decorating for Christmas while we were there, and I think we might try to do a holiday trip next year. Mid week the first or second week of December perhaps. And we'd love some friends to join the fun and share our wine...

For your education: My Seven Friendly Tips for a Fantastic Great Wolf Experience

1. Pick the right time to go. We are those parents who pull our kids out of school without a care for a vacation. We rarely get to go anywhere that's not owned by somebody's in-law that we are going to make the most of it. And that means minimized crowds. By the time it's a Big Deal to pull your kid out of school, they will be old enough to handle the park without a hovering parent. At that time I'll sit down with my magazine and contraband cocktail and set them loose. But since we are still in hard core hovering mode, mid week vacations are it. We went Monday through Wednesday, by Monday night they were at 10% capacity. I don't think we waited for a ride longer than 2 minutes.

2. Get the biggest room you can afford. My kids need their downtime, and so do I. For me, a hotel room is not just a place to sleep. It's my retreat from the busyness and noise of the resort. Since our kids are small, it was also nice to put them to bed and still have space to enjoy our evening. I've known people who hung out in the bathroom once their kids were in bed while in a hotel. Not a chance. We splurged on the Grizzly Bear Suite with two separate bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a nice sized living space. Worth every penny.

3. Take my mother. Not your mother. My mother. Because she is amazing, super fun, and gave Kevin and I a chance to go on rides together. Plus, I got to take her on the Howlin' Tornado (aka the toilet ride) for the first time and it was AWESOME! She's a worrywart yet a closet adrenaline junkie. Her first ride was certainly not her last. We were so lucky to have her with us. Yeah retired Grammas!

4. Bring all your own food. We were warned before our first trip that the food is super expensive and not yummy. The one exception is the pizza, which is decently priced and good enough for kiddos. The rooms come with fridges and microwaves, and the sinks now have food drains in the kitchenette. We have tons of food (and wine) so we can eat as we wish. We allow for a treat or two, usually ice cream, and save a load of money.

5. Pick your length of time carefully. We like doing two nights. This allows us to relax and enjoy the space without worried about "getting our money's worth" out of the park. The kids have time to explore but I don't feel guilty if they want to take a break after an hour of swimming. But I have kids that need that downtime and perhaps a nap for good measure. Plus I want a break! A fast and furious one night trip might be fun for the right kids, but some mom has gone into production management overdrive making that appear easy. Why spend money if you, the parent, is not also having a good time? We enjoy the park just as much as our kids, and we want to have fun on our vacation as well.

6. Budget for the wands. MagicQuest is a riot, the kids love it, and quite a few adults are roaming the hallway figuring out the clues. Patrick's wand actually lasted a year of hard play and he could use it again this year. As long as you don't get roped into the money drains connected to the wands (wand holders, fancy attachments) they are a ton of fun for a small investment. And you can use them at every visit. It's also more active than you'd think. We watch kids run up and down five flights of stairs for hours to find all the clues.

and finally

7. Have your friends go at the same time. Then you can all party together, the kids can entertain each other, and us parents can take turns sneaking off to the big rides! If you are very coordinated, you can get rooms next to each other. We intended to invite others, then got lazy. But God took care of us and our good friends just happened to be going there the exact same time. Fantastic. I really hope we can make it happen next year as well.

ps. We had so much fun we didn't get pictures. And I didn't want to take my phone into the park. Here are the only pictures I took (I think Kevin also took two).

Bedtime, the most wonderful time of the day

Oh my sweet baby Jesus did those kids run me ragged today!

Patrick could not stay out of my face for five minutes.

Fiona kept screaming for help with something I'd already told her 18 times she could not do.

And it was all yucky cold and raining.

And the post office was closed 30 minutes before we got there.

And Patrick kept touching things.

And Fiona lost my IPod (in the house, I found it after having a mental breakdown).

But then both doors were closed, lullaby music played on, and I cleaned the kitchen and poured myself a drink (eggnog with rum, happy holidays to you too!) and decided that going to bed early was the only way to improve the day.

And so, goodnight.

...Only in the mornings...

I'm a total weenie about crowds. Kevin likes it, all the rush and excitement and everybody having a good time. But I like very few things with loads of people, unless it's a lovely party with all my friends and no children to hover over. But lovely parties often include wine, and there was no wine at the Olympia Children's Museum today. Only hoards of people.

Kevin and I met up with his sister, her husband, and my niece and nephew at the Children's Museum today. On a holiday. It was crazy 30 minutes into opening. Not only with everybody out of school, but all the daycare/preschool/YMCA groups. Too many kids without enough adults. We dealt with more than one brat who didn't have a grown up around to correct him. But the kids seemed to have a blast even if us poor grownups just waved at each other as all four kids played in opposite areas.

We did have a nice pizza lunch together, so we actually got to have a whole conversation. Lovely to see everybody, but I think next time I'll get the kids at our house so I can have fun chatting. Maybe a cousins Christmas cookie party.

So the next time you look outside and it's a yucky rainy day, don't look for me at somewhere horrid like Odyssey One or Jump. I'll be at the zoo. By myself!

Why I'm An Awesome Mom

Wasn't today gorgeous? All that golden light and blue sky? I'm taking advantage of every day like today and getting the kiddos OUTSIDE! Soon enough we'll be stuck with 5 months of damp.



After a successful birthday present trip at Half-Price Books (Patrick was wonderful, Fiona was a terror), we visited The Nature Center. They have a nice outdoor play area with a real organic feel. Plus, water! A working water pump and a sandy/rocky play area where kids can get wet.


My children had their shoes off in five minutes. Fiona was nearly soaked by the time we left. Patrick exercised tremendous restraint and kept his clothes on (only naked water time at home, that's right buddy!) but got pretty wet himself.



This was not heated water. It was freezing! Fiona's little feet were so red but she kept going.



I figured it was easier to get them warm and dry at home than to spend the entire park visit fussing about their shoes and clothes. Get wet and dirty kids!

Going to the ZOO ZOO ZOO

Kevin and I enjoyed a rare day off together on Tuesday. It was such a gorgeous fall day, with blue skies, golden sunlight, and all the russets and oranges on the ground. Why do chores on a day like this? Off to the ZOO!

Patrick was informed that if he wanted to ride in the stroller, then we would choose where to go. This kept him moving until it was time to go, then instant melt-down because, "I'm walking too far!"

Daylight savings has not been kind to us this year.


Fiona runs so cute in her Diego snowboots, the only shoe I can get on her feet. It's going to be a sad day when these get too small.

Like shopping, but without spending money

I always love the idea of shopping. Like Lisa told me at the last girls' brunch, "Jenny, you like the idea of lots of things." True. Crafting. Gardening. Having a wardrobe full of charming accessories. But I've come to terms that I don't truly like anything that will cost me money or put more crap in my house. However, I've been brainwashed enough to find pleasure in the image of waltzing through the mall with cute be-ribboned bags, covered in discrete high-end logos, hanging from my wrist.

But I was able to get my game on today. Patrick was at preschool. Nancy kept me company and helped entertain stroller-stuck Fiona. As we pulled into the parking lot, Fiona started clapping.

"Do you go to the mall with Daddy?"

"Yeah! Daddy! Yeah! Daddy!" and Fiona cheered and clapped.

Later Kevin told me doesn't always take her to the mall. Sometimes they go to REI.

But thanks to some coupons and a bit of luck....
1. Free panties from Victoria Secret
2. Free Birthday gift from Sephora, 4oz bottle of Philosophy Birthday Cake gel
3. Free Annie's pretzel for Fiona
4. Two 3-wick candles (normally $19.95) from Bath and Body Works in Fireside and Evergreen. They had accidentally left up a sale poster advertising 2/$30, and the sale ended Sunday. Since I pointed out the sign, they gave me that price! Then I used my coupon for $10 off a $30 purchase. $21 for the two candles!

My other spot of personal happiness during the day occurred at the end of my walk. I hit Burning Cupcake and had a small treat, just myself, on the way home. Damn bakery four blocks from home. It's just cruel. Who wants to join me next time?

good day sunshine!

Kevin finished his latest opera today. He was a success, as always. He stage manages for Tacoma Opera twice a year. Pre-kids I would make treats and hang out at rehearsals. Once Patrick and Fiona arrived I was stuck at home, and it was so hard. Kevin would be gone all day, I'd be coordinating babysitters for my days at work, and getting little sleep with no relief due to work and rehearsals.

But this last show seemed different. It wasn't so hard with the kids. Patrick is so big, Fiona is pretty capable and able to entertain herself quite a bit considering her age. Kevin didn't have quite as many Starbucks hours. Throw in a regular decent night's sleep (wahoo!) I feel like I have a grip on life even during opera season.

And I can see that light other parents talk about as their kids get older. This new stage of parenting, less about constant physical attachment and vigilance and more towards guidance and support. I definitely have some years to go, but I can see it. And it looks wonderful!

What I'm grateful for today

That my mom is here!

That we survived a strange day at work. Not bad. Not great. Just kind of annoying.

That Kevin made me grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner.

That Patrick sat still for the entire Pinkalicious show at Tacoma Musical Playhouse with Gramma.

That the first set of Christmas presents is purchased and hidden.

That despite some minor bitching and moaning, all is well.

21 months in pictures

Love, Mommy

ps. as a matter of fact, it's actually mine.

Picking my battles and this ain't one of 'em

My parenting life has been simplified by remembering the three things you cannot make a child do:

1. You cannot make a child pee/poop in the potty.

2. You cannot make a child put food in their mouth and swallow it.

3. You cannot make a child fall asleep at the prescribed time.

Perhaps I will blather on about my experiences with these topics later on, but I would like to add a cautionary fourth item.




4. You cannot make a child have (your) good taste in clothing.

Patrick has chosen his own clothes here, as he does most mornings. He's usually a simply guy. Sweatpants, jersey knit shirt, perhaps a track jacket. But he's brought a fashion forward spirit to today's outfit.

BuzzLightyear track pants
Hanna Anderssen pirate striped shorts
Long sleeved striped monster tee shirt
Short sleeved shirt tee shirt from Point Defiance Zoo (a real tee shirt, not those fake knockoffs sold outside the gates by mooching losers)

You just keep on truckin' buddy!

Lost and Found

I have been known to completely lose my mind over missing sunglasses.

Cheap, easily replaceable sunglasses from Target. Not that cute or unique. And I will tear the house about in a raging frenzy because I can't find them. My mother does the same thing, although her frenzy is more anxious while mine is more psychotic.

This can also happen with my wallet, keys, gloves, wedding ring, Little People farm animals, specific underwear, and so forth. I'm not good with lost stuff. My mind goes from "that thing is missing" to "and then the sun will implode upon itself."

So having kids is not good for this, because now I'm looking for their missing stuff. And kids don't put things in logical places. We finally found a missing remote control inside the long unused VCR. I've torn apart the minivan looking for sippy cups that the kids have left under the backyard swing.

Tonight Patrick asked about his Star Wars book. A library board book with seven pages of hero shots and quotes so one could introduce Star Wars without worrying about your children mouthing the book. It's Patrick's newest love. Last night he slept with the book, having dropped off with the book in his hand. Tonight, I couldn't find it. And I morph into a (child-friendly) crazy woman tearing apart the house long past bedtime in pursuit of that fecking book. I trudge out into the pouring rain TWICE to search the car and the backyard because he could have taken this book anywhere. I finally give up, put the kids to bed, and tell Patrick we will find it in the morning. But I'm still all wound up. Because something is lost.

I text Kevin. He's got the final dress of his opera tonight, but maybe he has a clue. I'm sure I used a few swear words. And YES! Kevin totally knew where that damn book was! In gratitude I offered him "a lovely evening" when he gets home from rehearsal. He said sure, if he wasn't too tired.

(I'm kidding about that last bit. Given these last few weeks, he probably wept in gratitude at that text.)

Three Things

In the spirit of the Write a Novel In A Month challenge, I'm pushing myself to blog everyday. What was once a fun creative outlet has turned into another check on my to-do list. I'd like to find the pleasure in it again. Plus, sweet second-child Fiona deserves some of the same adoration as the first born.

The decision was made last night, and I wasn't about to get my toasty buns out of bed at 9:30pm to blog. So we'll just pretend I started on time.

I was thinking about my own personal rut. Stuck in the day to day drudgery of small children and wondering why it was so damn hard to do anything. I can see the light, flickering as it may be, of my children's growing independence. But I either set too many goals, or I make my definition of success so precise that I quit at the first stumble. So to jump start new habits, I made a plan that was simple, achievable, and easily measurable.

1. I would check our bank account everyday: We do alright, financially. But I'd like us to do better. More savings. Less credit card stall out. Pay for big stuff with cash. My normal status is to check the account, then freak out and call/email/text Kevin in a full out snit. Because this gets me all anxious and wired up, I stopped checking. I want to break this habit, feel more in control, and get back in the game. I don't want to feel like our money just disappears. (I'm also going to try a cash diet at the grocery store, my biggest contribution to money disappearance.)

2. I would exercise everyday, specifically outside: I'm great at finding other stuff to do that keeps me from exercising. But I NEED to get outside everyday. I notice such a difference in my mood and energy levels, regardless of how much I've slept. And the dogs need it as well. So I'm putting it at the top of my list. On days that I work, I thinking the 14 flights of stairs will count, even if it's not outside.

3. I would do something for myself without personal judgement of what that is: Yesterday it was watching the DVD extras for Two Towers. Hopefully soon it will be picking up my long neglected guitar and learning some chords. Sometimes the house will just be a little less clean, but that's OK.

So off I go, to walk the dogs in the sunshine as Kevin deals with a whiny child who is finished with his screen time, plus another who is refusing her nap. Cheers!

20 months

My dearest Fiona: You are 20 months!

We are on a fast ride to the true end of babyhood. Perhaps I've written that already. But this time it seems a bit more true. Once you are two, I can't give your age in months any more. You probably won't be nursing (much) anymore. Maybe we'll be super proactive and attempt a ride on a potty train! And in all likelihood, it will mean the end of babies at our house. For unless God gives us a really big surprise (and a complete mental breakdown), you are our last baby. I'm excited about the possibilities opening up as you and your brother get older. New experiences we can share with you both, a growing independence that means I have no excuse for the house looking this way, and a widening of our world. It's not so bittersweet anymore, just incredibly exciting.


I love it when you: surprise us with new words. "Digger!" "Wallaby!" "Cheese!" "Deigo!" "Mine!" Still no major word for Patrick. Play funny games with your toys, like making your babies drink from your cup. Giggle with your brother. Make up games with your brother. Put yourself in mortal peril with your brother. Cuddle in bed with me in the morning. Run to hug your Daddy.


I am less enthralled with: licking the felt board during storytime at the library. Clawing my face and laughing maniacally. Screaming "MINE!" and grabbing something from your brother. Throwing your food on the floor. Standing on Danica to get something forbidden off the table. Playing chase at inopportune moments, like Target. Eating markers at church. Peeing on the carpet and then stomp in it when I'm trying to change you.



I remember doing all this stuff with you last year and it was so hard. You wanted to get down and MOVE, but you only had Robeeze and those didn't work so well at the pumpkin patch. But we are at the point where you and your brother can do a lot of the same stuff, which is awesome defined.

It's just so much fun, my love, to be your Mommy.

Love
Mommy