Lost and Found

I have been known to completely lose my mind over missing sunglasses.

Cheap, easily replaceable sunglasses from Target. Not that cute or unique. And I will tear the house about in a raging frenzy because I can't find them. My mother does the same thing, although her frenzy is more anxious while mine is more psychotic.

This can also happen with my wallet, keys, gloves, wedding ring, Little People farm animals, specific underwear, and so forth. I'm not good with lost stuff. My mind goes from "that thing is missing" to "and then the sun will implode upon itself."

So having kids is not good for this, because now I'm looking for their missing stuff. And kids don't put things in logical places. We finally found a missing remote control inside the long unused VCR. I've torn apart the minivan looking for sippy cups that the kids have left under the backyard swing.

Tonight Patrick asked about his Star Wars book. A library board book with seven pages of hero shots and quotes so one could introduce Star Wars without worrying about your children mouthing the book. It's Patrick's newest love. Last night he slept with the book, having dropped off with the book in his hand. Tonight, I couldn't find it. And I morph into a (child-friendly) crazy woman tearing apart the house long past bedtime in pursuit of that fecking book. I trudge out into the pouring rain TWICE to search the car and the backyard because he could have taken this book anywhere. I finally give up, put the kids to bed, and tell Patrick we will find it in the morning. But I'm still all wound up. Because something is lost.

I text Kevin. He's got the final dress of his opera tonight, but maybe he has a clue. I'm sure I used a few swear words. And YES! Kevin totally knew where that damn book was! In gratitude I offered him "a lovely evening" when he gets home from rehearsal. He said sure, if he wasn't too tired.

(I'm kidding about that last bit. Given these last few weeks, he probably wept in gratitude at that text.)