First, I have a really cute video of Patrick that is not cooperating with Blogger or Facebook. I can't seem to get it posted! So come over to my house to look at it. It's pretty funny--what Patrick does to entertain himself while I'm nursing Fiona. It's not puzzles, coloring, or books, I can tell you that.

Kevin is at the end of his awful opera schedule. While it will still be busy for him, he'll be home more with awake and needy children. Yeah! I'm looking forward to some more help and the tiniest bit of a break. But it hasn't been too bad, really. Girls from my MOPS group have brought meals, and they are all excellent cooks. We've had lots of playdates. My Mom came and saved me for several days on two separate occasions. And while Patrick can be a real bugger sometimes, he's a pretty funny kid and I do enjoy the heck out of him. He's been great with Fiona. All our issues have been normal toddler issues. Joy.

Fiona is a doll. It's been interesting to see the differences come out. She's a great sleeper right now, I get 2-3 hour stretches at night. She does great in my Baby K'Tan carrier. Nurses like a champ. However, she's very spitty. I change shirts a lot, and so does she. And the pink clothes are really growing on me.

I'm feeling really great about having two kids, with the smallest exception of looking in the mirror. I see my midsection and go, "Oh, yeah. That." The work will come, but for now I'll have another Thin Mint.

Dual Naptime

There is no greater gift if you have more than one child. They both nap at the SAME TIME. I should have bought me some lottery tickets because this was obviously my day.

How many of you play the "If we won the lottery..." game with your spouse, despite the fact that you never buy lottery tickets, significantly reducing your chances?

The kids were just so darn cute in their respective sleep that I had to get pictures. Patrick finally has a new naptime routine. It's working great! Around 1pm we let him pick a video. He's usually out in 20 minutes max. I move him from the chair to the couch, where he's crashed until I force him to wake up. Poor guy, he is not happy with me at wake-up time, but I do want the boy to go to bed before 9:30pm. After Patrick falls asleep, I take Fiona upstairs for some nursing, snuggling, and maybe some snoozing in the swing. On a good day, I get to snooze too! I think this has happened twice.

Poor second children who don't get their picture taken as much

Here's my girl at one week old! She's starting to wake up a bit more, gets pretty mad when she needs to wait for a meal longer than 30 seconds, and loves to snuggle. Fiona is also fairly tolerant of a wet diaper, but we'll still need more than the 70 cloth diapers/week I've started with. I'm able to get some decent stretches of sleep at night. Patrick is still doing very well with the baby. He just needs to get a good routine established, as he wakes up earlier and earlier when it's out of whack.

And please ignore that dirty diaper in the background. Charming, Jenny, really charming.

Figuring it out

Fiona is giving me a few minutes to myself while she dozes in a laundry basket (thanks to Lena for the tip). Patrick went to bed at a normal time with no up and down games. The house is put together, the coffee pot is ready to go, and the diaper bag is packed.

While I know in my brain that some days this will not happen, I'm grateful that it is today. I can live without the computer time, but I get really antsy if the house is falling apart around me. And it's hardly spotless. My mom will vouch for that, as she reads this and thinks about the disaster of a bathtub she tackled on her last visit. But de-cluttered and restful on the eyes. Stuff ready to go and just overall picked up.

Monday went alright, as I was blessed with an abundance of company. Raissa and Micah played with Patrick all morning and into the afternoon between our two houses. My gorgeous sister in law, Beth, stopped by for a visit since she was up north. Jacy dropped in quickly with a meal and let her two kids play for a bit. And Kevin's sister brought her two kids over and allowed them to run around and tire Patrick out even more. Patrick was very grumpy when his cousin stopped playing chase with him to hold baby Fiona. It's the most jealous he's been.

Upon reflection, Patrick did get really overwhelmed. He was very naughty at times and we had a couple of prize discipline moments. If anybody has some brilliant insight on disciplining toddlers so that they GET IT, I'd love to hear it. Half the time he just giggles when I get firm, which really makes me feel like an awesome mom. I'm also trying to be aware that he's two, not five. For the most part, it's really about distraction and redirection, as well as being VERY repetitive. Still, it's tough to know what's going to stick.

Fiona remains lovely. Like all babies, she loves to eat and snuggle, hates being cold and getting her diaper changed, and wants to wake up when I want to sleep! Patrick keeps kissing her. I managed to nurse her while putting Patrick to bed last night by myself! What a trick.

At home

We came home Friday evening, timed as to not destroy Patrick's bedtime routine too badly. Luckily, he and my Mom both took a nap...until 4:15pm that day. So he was fine until 9pm. But it worked out well to ease back into family life with one small difference.

Patrick is doing good with all the changes so far. But I can tell he's a little punked out and a touch out of sorts. Who could blame the boy? Mom and Dad leave and come back. New baby. Visitors in and out of the house. Routine is all thrown off. And his inability to tell me what's going on (much less understand in his own brain what he's feeling) makes me want to hug him all day long. Kevin and I are working at giving him some good individual attention as much as we can.

He was pretty excited to discover that nursing was, once again, open for business. I explained that he was a big boy and nursing is for babies. Not sure that he cares, but he's still pretty fascinated.

Fiona is...a baby. I hate labels on babies. "Good" baby, "Fussy" baby. How can these claims be made when she's only been on the outside for 3 days? She's still sleepy, with her wakeful periods taken up by eating. She's a great nurser and has been from her first 15 minutes of life. We all love holding her, and Patrick can't stop giving her kisses. I discovered why mommies like to have their newborns in bed with them. I never did this with Patrick, but last night Fiona would not let go of me. Every time I thought she was done and put her in the bassinet, she fussed until I latched her on again. It didn't take long to just keep her in bed with me. She didn't peep at all, and Kevin was able to sleep without any problems.

These first days have been good. It's nice being a second time mom. The increased confidence is such a blessing. Kevin heads to work Monday, and Mom has gone home. Wish me luck.

Our first 24 hours as a family of four

39+5, should I TMI?

The new laptop is giving us problems. Well, it gives Kevin problems and I just cry and moan about it. Seems it doesn't like our router (best guess). Kevin's been trouble shooting with multiple sources, and I'm trying to not get all mopey about it. Because really, this is an inconvenience, not a problem. Kevin reminds me that it will work, eventually. But darn it! I paid money for it! I want it to work NOW. Such is life. I don't always get what I want, when I want it. Sigh.

Without getting too graphic, I was "checked" today at my midwife appointment. The news was promising, and I'm encouraged that I hopefully won't need to keep my 41 week induction date. But it's on the books, just in case :) The midwife did what she could to jump start labor, if it's so inclined to be jump started. Maybe I'm noticing tonight? We'll see what happens over the next couple of days.

Patrick is dropping his afternoon nap. Oh, the timing. The bright side is that he goes to bed earlier and easier without it. Sometimes he gets a bit punky, sometimes he's fine. Kevin and I are going to change our TV routine to allow for an hour or so in the afternoon, to allow for a break. We've both decided that the battle to keep him in bed for a nap isn't worth it, because if he's tired it's no issue. So we'll continue to offer it, but not be hard core about it. Family naptime is occasionally successful, so perhaps that could work once Fiona arrives.

I've decided to start my maternity leave on my due date, whether I've had the baby or not. I do feel a bit wimpy, but I've hit my limit getting through the 12 hour shifts. Especially when it's really crazy. I don't feel like I'm a reliable team member anymore. Now that the choice has been made, it's a weight off my shoulders. I was able to be on call Monday and Tuesday, such a blessing. I did a lot of sleeping. And I got myself a cupcake!

In the meantime, if anybody wants to invite me over and help me entertain my toddler, that would be awesome. It remains my biggest challenge and I'm guessing that will continue once I'm post partum.

And if anybody wants to earn some extra cash walking my dogs, let me know.

A break

Praises be, I was on call today. Patrick went to daycare, and I stayed in my PJ's until 2pm. Most of the morning and afternoon was spent in and out of naps. The dogs snuggled with me, and I dozed off between Rick Steves' episodes on DVD. Then, just for variety, I took a nap in my bed. I gladly ignored the TWO groups of evangelists who decided to knock on my door around 10am. Normally I am quite polite to door knockers of all kinds (I have a real sympathy for the young kids trying to earn money with sales like that. Brutal.) and I respect that for some religious groups, door-to-door evangelism is a key expression of faith. But I'm a Lutheran, thanks, and I just get annoyed. Why does anybody think that I want to talk with a total stranger about something as personal as faith? Much less some 18 year old identified as an "elder." That always makes me giggle. They all probably knew I was home, ignoring them, but I don't care. I was in my jammies, pregnant and tired.

Thanks for all the love, people. I'm still a bit desperate, but hanging in there. I don't know what to do about work. I'm paranoid about "wasting" my FMLA at home without a baby, but the idea of working two on, one off, two on over the weekend freaks me out. Should I beg for an elective induction? Makes me feel like a complete hypocrite, considering how annoyed I get with that at work. :) serves me right.

"I can do hedonism. I'm a Lutheran." Rick Steves, Travel as a Political Act