More Porn for Women

Notes

Camille: no problem babe

Lena: there is no way we are kicking the doggies out. I think we'd have major rebellion! Hard enough to get Danica out of our BED. Crazy...we had a 65 pound lab sleep with us on our double mattress, but balk at a 14 pound baby in a queen.

Becky: I think lots of stuff was keeping him up--snoring (by both parents), rustling dogs. And the crib mattress is more comfy. He's ready, I'm not!

Carrie: I'll definitely send you guys a picture. And you can always download them from the blog as well. Lurking is totally allowed.

Jennifer B: I love your website! Thanks for visiting.

I need to come up with some new sleeping plans for the Patrick.

At three months old, I was so proud. Why Yes, my baby is sleeping through the night....

But slowly....slowly....old habits creep back up.

First it's just once a night.

Then twice.

Last night he woke up about EVERY HOUR AND A HALF.

Tons of ideas. Teething? Still punky from shots? Growing spurt? Snoring parents? Noisy puppies?

Around three in the morning, Kevin was done. Patrick had eaten, but fussed every time we put him back in the bassinet.

"He's going in the crib."

Where he slept until I woke him up to eat at 6am.

I'm not sure I'm ready for my baby to be out of our room. But he might be.

I feel like I'm hitting the wall, just ever so slightly, of necessary stress.

Patrick had a dose of immunizations on Friday. It's left him feeling a bit punky the last few days. He's been persnickity and grumpy, although Daddy is always good for a smile. Of course, Daddy is in the middle of two shows and has been gone an awful lot. So much fun for Mommy. The dogs have been especially needy the last few days as I've come off a long stretch at work. Money stress. Job stress. Holiday stress. And I feel guilty if I walk the baby without the dogs.

At least the weather's been nice.

But I did a good-Mommy deed today.

After serious goading from Jenny (work girlfriend), I scheduled an appointment for Patrick to have pictures done at JCPenney. These are our first studio pictures. They turned out Fab! I was pleased with the service, friendly and quick considering it was a bit of the zoo. They had a mix of Halloween costumes, Christmas Card clothes, and animals. Guess they do pet pictures a few times a year! We ordered some cute shots, making certain to get enough for grandparents, uncles, and aunties.

Much in my life is out of my control right now. No fun.

From the comments

Hello Jennifer B.

Who are you?

Thanks for the visit!

Four Months

Dear Patrick: You are four months old!


Up until now, I've been writing letters to you by the week. But I'm finding that I'm running out of things to say. You have bursts of growth, followed by slow change leading up to the next burst. For example, you've been so close to rolling over for the longest time. Perhaps you will accomplish this next month.

I write this as you sleep in our room. I'm not ready to move you into your crib. So rather then moving you because the bassinet is front of the heating vent, I'll just move the bassinet. The dog beds will go....somewhere else in the room. We've been spending lots of time together as Daddy is working on two shows. But when he's home, you laugh with him so much. I am drawn from other sides of the house by the sound of your joined laughter, you and your Daddy. You are truly engaged with the world around you, and the funniest things grab your attention. Today in the elevator, you were captivated by a sign. Glad to see you are easy to entertain.


I love watching how social you are. You smile at strangers who come up to admire you. They talking about your big, pretty blue eyes and your hint of dimples. And slowly, you give them a big grin in return. You can be the biggest grump for me, but some grandma-type coos at you and you are suddenly sweet as sugar pie. It's rather fun to take you out! But when you are done, you are done. Nothing will pacify you except a break. Or a diaper change. Or breastfeeding. You are not impressed when I take too long to figure it out.

But Mommy was chastised by her good friend Jenny yesterday. She was rather surprised that you don't have a baby book. Or a scrapbook. Or any pictures in frames. Or any studio pictures. Hey, I said Mommy was doing a pretty good job just taking some pictures now and then. Evidently, I'm missing the boat. So Mommy is taking you to JCPenney with a coupon from Jenny on Sunday. The grandmas will all be so pleased. Now I just have to figure out what you will wear. Shouldn't be a problem, as your wardrobe is better than mine.

I've also found that if I just get out of your face, you do a pretty good job of entertaining yourself. So I'm actually getting a few things done around the house despite the presence of a newborn. Laundry. Vacuuming. Mopping. And you play with your feet. Those feet are the coolest toys you've ever seen. I'd post of picture of you getting them into your mouth, but it's one of those naked pictures. Because if you can have your pants off AND play with your feet, that's good times.

I love you, my gorgeous, sweet baby.
Love
Mommy

Thanks so far for all the tips. Glad to see we are on the right track.

It does help that I am, frankly, rather selfish about the whole thing. It's an excellent technique and I recommend you all try it.

I went through my baby clothes again. On the positive note, I have loads of lovely winter things just waiting for it to be cold enough. Like his Daddy, Patrick runs on the warm side. But I have absolutely no excuse to buy anything cute. I'd say, Great, shopping for Mommy! But I'm feeling a bit precarious at the moment...so I'll keep it to necessities for now.

Great time for tight finances, the holidays. Lord have mercy.

Fun Old-Fashioned Griswald Family Christmas

First of all, pictures for the grandparents.

Kevin and I have been talking about the holidays. Holidays can be a touchy subject for kids of divorce (Mom, stop it...no getting all paranoid on me here). Even with a "good"divorce, there is no getting around the holiday shuttle. Whose turn is it for what holiday and how are we going to get back and forth? And most kids (at least I did) have incredible guilt if one parent is alone on a major holiday. I realize now they might have liked that alone time an awful lot :) But for a kid, being alone on Christmas sounds like the fifth circle of hell. And a part of you says, it's your fault that Mom/Dad is alone.

So I'm already a bit touchy about it. While some adults might take these experiences and become major people-pleasers, I've taken a different road. I'm totally selfish about doing what I want/when I want.

This attitude works quite well in a marriage.

So now I'm married. So is my brother. So is Kevin's sister. The youngest isn't married, but he has a girlfriend and doesn't want to waste too much time hanging with the fam. Add a whole new set of people with their schedules, needs, and emotional baggage into the mix. We have a wide definition of family between the Chase/Myers. Sister-in-law's ex-husband, Stepmom from Dad's second marriage, Mom's live-in partner, other Mom's new girlfriend. Complicated, even when we all are behaving and playing nice with others.

Occasionally, that happens.

Did I mention that we all have jobs, many with non-traditional schedules and holiday hours?

Throw a couple grandkids into the mix, and the emotions spike even higher. One grandkid is old enough to really enjoy the holidays and be aware of who is present and who isn't. The other is having his year of "firsts." He's fine with it all, but the adults have their own views about its importance. These views aren't always coinciding.

Drama Drama Drama.

So what do we do?

Kevin and I are talking, lots of talking. Figuring out what WE want out of the holidays, as a married couple and the head of our own household. What traditions do we want for our kids? How can we share our kids with the extended family without taking away for our own needs? Can we do this without any temper-tantrums?

Any tips, parental friends of mine?

It seems rather silly to be too tired to blog.

It's not like my days at home are filled with endless variety. Patrick and I alternate between the floor, the swing, and various bouncy seats. I'll read books when he'll sit still long enough to enjoy the pictures. He's got toys he likes to chew on. And breastfeeding and diaper changes are a popular activity.

But I'm still rather tired at the end of the day. Even though I miss him when he's asleep. And at times, I can't believe that I'm the Mommy.

So some notes on the last few days:

Mom came up Thursday night as a favor. I wanted to get some yardwork done, and Kevin's gone alot with both regular work and opera work. So Mom was on baby duty while I weeded the front beds, got rid of some ugly, dead plants, trimmed the lavender, and cut back some enthusiastic shrubs. It looks pretty decent, the highest compliment I can give my yard at this time. Then I introduced her to Hello, Cupcake. We shared a red velvet, carrot, and lemon cupcake. Yummy.

Patrick is super alert during the day, but rather grumpy the last few. Feeding him when I'm out and about is more of a challenge, as he wants to look at everything instead of eating. But he's hungry, so he's grumpy. Awesome. He's also doing less snacking and more huge feeds. Kevin says he's taking some big bottles for him and various babysitters. Up to 9 ounces!

Kevin's in a Buffy the Vampire Slayer phase, I'm in a Lord of the Rings phase. It's making us both super productive (sarcasm inserted).

I knew that my hair would fall out after Patrick was born, but I didn't realize the potential for a bald spot! I pulled my hair back into a high ponytail, took a close look at my hairline, and thought, that's not just the lighting, that's NO HAIR! So my ponytails are a bit lower until the duck fuzz fills in.

Patrick has finally discovered his feet! His favorite time to play with them is during diaper changes, without pants and sock to get in his way.

I never thought I would truly look forward to going to work. I like my job, I feel good about the work that I do, I'm madly in love with my co-workers who are the coolest group of women ever (other than my college buddies, of course).

But it's a job. It's not hanging out with my dogs and reading books.

Having a baby has changed my mindset. Patrick, my wonderful little man who is a fantastic baby, is sort of tough to be at home with ALL DAY LONG. And he's a good sleeper, likes other people, can self-sooth pretty well, and we haven't had the dreaded colic issue with hours of screaming. But it's hard to be "on" all day with minimal breaks. Thank God for naptime, right?

So I get up in the morning to head off to work with a light heart. We have a great day care lady who says Patrick does quite well with the kids at her house. And I'm thinking, "Yeah, a 12 hour break!" For me, going to work provides a great balance to being at home with him. My schedule really helps this. While it's a long time to be gone (I pump four or five times during the day), I have lots of full days off to be with him. And we do lots of fun things. Visit friends, go to the library, try all the cupcake places in Tacoma. I've found lots of great mothers' groups in the area, and I've met some wonderful new people. It's a good balance, and it makes it lots of fun to be a working-outside-the-house Mommy.

OK, the fact that he sleeps REALLY helps all this cheerfulness. And that extra breastmilk that Kevin thawed last night for the babysitter? Guess who got to do that nighttime growth-spurt feeding with a bottle?

An entry in which I don't talk about the baby, so Mom might not be interested

MariClaire: I love Olympus Spa. Fantastic. But I might wait until I'm finished lactating. The last time I took a long hot bath (at Nancy's house because she has the most FAB bathtub and never uses it), I looked down from my book to see streams of milk spontaneously erupting. Such a romantic image. Don't think the other naked ladies would appreciate it!

KEVIN STARTED A BLOG AND YA'LL SHOULD GO AND READ IT!
He's going to try to write in it a few times a week, but he starts opera rehearsals soon. Cut the man some slack. I just hope he works with my guidelines: write nothing your boss/mother/mother-in-law can't read.

I was checking out our finances this morning. Making sure bills got paid, we had money, the usual. I looked at our Visa statement. Normally this makes me hysterical. I hate a balance of any kind on it. But a few car repairs, medical bills, one or two splurges, and back up it goes. Kevin told me, "Until (confidential fill in the blank but you all know what it is), then we are just going to have a balance and it's OK. We'll pay off as much as possible in the meantime." He's been saying it forever, but it finally stuck.

Curving away from my tangent, I was surprised to see an increase. Kevin and I had agreed to not use Evil-V without prior joint approval. Upon further investigation, I see the following entries:

Pour at Four: $38.00
Paddy Coynes: $40.00

Hmmmm. Kevin had mentioned that he was going to take some co-workers out for a drink to get some feedback on show/personal performance. Cool! Takes some guts to ask for feedback. Of course, he'll be paying for their drinks. Great! But from a financial point, this was a bit much given our non-stop discussions on the State of Our Finances. I was pissed.

"KEVIN!" He walks up the stairs into the computer room. I show him the charges in question.

"A bit much, don't you think? I'm very angry at you!"

Kevin has learned much in five years of husband-ing.

"I'm such an idiot. Bad husband."

Yes, you're right.

Then he smiles at me.

"But you'll have such a funny story for your blog."

This evening was not the easiest evening to be a parent.

My first day at home after two days at work. I've heard from parents before that their kids almost have to detox a bit with Mommy after some time apart. I'll have to keep watch, to see if Patrick's inclined. I also wonder if he's not more of a schedule when I'm at work...perhaps I need to structure my day a bit more when I'm at home. I also think Kevin is better about just letting him fuss it out a bit, not instantly jumping up with a new trick the second he peeps discontent. I could probably learn from that as well.

I'm sure everybody would like some pictures. I'll get to it, promise! We've got some fun plans this weekend: Greek Festival, Farm visits with apples and pumpkins. And Patrick has pumpkin socks from Target to match!

I've prayed a lot this week. For patience, courage, the ability to keep my mouth shut, the wisdom necessary to be a good parent, for the well-being of my entire family (dogs and all).

...but what I'd really like is a weekend alone in a hotel room with a big jacuzzi tub, Food Network on TV, lots of fun magazines, and poor cell phone reception. Did I mention I'd be alone?

Easier than thinking something up...

Elle made me do it, and I'm a sucker for being told what to do in writing.

So Lena, how about it?

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car),
Tazi Subaru

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie),
Dulce da Lece Peanut Butter Blossom

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name),
J-Mye

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal),
Red Dog

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born),
Lynn Grants Pass

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first),
Mye-Je

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink),
The Violet Margarita

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers),
Roy David II

9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy),
Lempika Lolita Kit Kat

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ),
Elaine Russell

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter),
Halligan Huston

12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower).
Summer Carnation

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
Fig Nursing-Braie

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree),
Jam Mangolia

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”),
The Dog-Walking Lightening Tour