Good Night

So I read this book.

Not surprising, it's my go-to solution for every and all problem I encounter.

This time, on sleep. Figuring that getting some more sleep will help all members of my family, especially me. Several months ago I read "The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. It's a genius book. She was asked in an interview what one thing people (and particularly moms) could do to increase their happiness. Her answer was get more sleep.

So getting my kids to bed is my first step. Kevin and I knew things were out of wack but couldn't really pin it down. While I was skeptical, I picked up "The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers" by Elizabeth Pantley. I just couldn't get over the implied haughtiness of the title. But she had some great tips and steps for improving bedtime, with chapters organized by issue.

We aren't doing too bad. But we need to keep our bedtime schedule consistent and get the kids to bed earlier. This is so hard in the summer! But we've been paying the price.

So the past two days I've stopped myself from doing just one more errand in the evening. I've lowered the stimulation in the evening. Bedtime started earlier.

And it's WORKED! Tonight, both children were in bed asleep before eight. Patrick only got out of bed once but put himself back in it while I nursed Fiona.

Now the challenge is to get my butt off the computer and get myself into bed before ten!

Ready for bed

Fiona decided to play from 9pm to midnight the other night.

I had my breakdown around that time as well.

So Kevin and I regrouped. He's going to be helping me with some nighttime parenting right now. Because I am at the End Of My Road. Losing it. No reserves and a total inability to cope after a brief setback. I really notice it at work, as I'm getting a little crankier and less patient with my darling coworkers (sorry about this last weekend guys).

I think about these times as I read articles and comments about how to get your cup refilled. Have a cup of tea! Talk a walk around the block! Sorry, but after a while it just doesn't cut it. And it's not working for me anymore. These mini-breaks help me to just cope, but they aren't filling my reserves enough so I can cope when Fiona wants to play at 10:30pm, just as I'm turning out the lights to go to sleep.

I cried downstairs for fifteen minutes while Fiona complained in the swing. Then I left her there to get Kevin because I didn't trust myself to pick her up again.

I'm thinking about this as I'm deciding whether to help with Sunday School this next year. I was called by the coordinator and asked to help. "Your name was mentioned multiple times," she said. "We'd love to have you." How flattering! You'd be lost without me! (Isn't that how we all think when somebody needs us?) I told her I'd like to hear more. But considering how maxed out I feel now, how there are areas of my life neglected now, and how I'm already missing out on church activities due to schedule and kids (singing), I'm thinking that this would be a better bet next year. I hate saying no. I hate disappointing people. But I think this would be a better fit for me next year. It feels like the right choice, but I still feel like a jerk for saying no.

I guess I've decided after all. For now, I choose myself.

While they stil really dig each other

You know it's a busy weekend at work when...

You answer pages while in the bathroom

You solve problems while using your breastpump

You figure you got a break while reading that text from the ER on the stairs while eating your sandwich

You call your boss on purpose to discuss staffing and patient placement

The OR tech shows up and you hug her

Your lovely co-workers say "It was fine! You weren't that cranky."

Then you see how night shift is staffed, and you think you had it easy

Only semi rediculous

I don't like being busy. I'm not a "chaos junkie." I don't have an overloaded schedule with work, church, kids sports, school, date night, and an immaculate house and yard. So I'm not quite sure how "busy" ended up on my schedule.

This next month includes the following:
MOPS 2010 year: I'm taking on publicity, having a blog, facebook account, possibly twitter, newsletter, and random other tasks. If I was computer illiterate, this might be fast. But it's a slow learning curve for me. And my children are not cooperating by sleeping at the same time during the day. I'm pushing my perfectionist urge aside and letting the blog be a work in progress. Better to have something up than nothing.

Patrick starts preschool: We'll be needing supplies and perhaps a few new school clothing items. And I'm imagining there will be other errands involved with this.

ACLS: Advanced Cardiac Life Support training for work. 2 weeks where I might just be calling YOU to help watch my two kids. Kevin cannot take the time off work that's demanded for this. Oh, and I get to miss Patrick's first two days of school for this damn thing.

EFM Updates: More work fun involving a book, a class, and reading ahead of time. The week following ACLS.

Add the various appointments to make, bank accounts to balance, paperwork to file/shread/throw to the devil, bills to pay, children to entertain, dogs to walk, husband to manage, friends to keep in touch, errands to run...

And Kevin and I are figuring out how to replace the floor. Pergo or IKEA?

I remind myself that small children grow and the busy-ness changes, but you can actually get stuff done again. In the meantime, I walked away from Fiona for 30 seconds. In which she crawled from her bedroom to the bathroom and got herself into a standing position holding onto the bathtub. She's six months, for Goodness Sake.

My new present

Kevin got me an IPod Touch a few weeks ago.

I sort of freaked out about it.

You got me WHAT? And it cost WHAT?

Kevin took it all in stride. He knows that any present more then $20 (or $5 depending on the day) will make me break out in a cold sweat and question the End of Days. Several weeks ago I commented to him that it, the IPod Touch, seemed pretty cool and maybe I would save my allowance and get one. Someday. Maybe. In my world, that means five years from now. And that if my Sansa MP3 player still made noise, I would never replace it. Despite the fact that the screen wobbles, the earpiece jack is loose, and you can't buy a docking station for it because it's an old model.

But it still works! I'd tell him. I get this from my mother.

Kevin, for reasons of his own, decided to get this for me despite the fact that I would alternate between anger, guilt, freaking out, and worry. He asked me to trust him to "take care of it." And I realized that this gift wasn't at all about the IPod, but about the dynamics of our marriage. So he's taking care of it, and I have a new toy.

Now I just have to learn to use the damn thing. I'm getting there. Kevin gives me tutorials and figures problems out while I sit and sob on the stool next to the computer.

He really likes it when I do that.

I'm not incredibly techno savy, so I'm being challenged as well. If I have this toy, then I want to maximize it! I need to know how every nanobyte works! So far, I can download podcasts, synch photos, and turn it off and on.

It's all in the journey, my friends.

Good concept, wrong context

or Why Talking is Overrated

I had a conversation with Patrick in the library today.

Me: Patrick, please stop touching the gates. They aren't for playing.

(repeat three time)

Me: Patrick, that was your last chance, now you get to stand by Mommy.

(I gently grab him and guide me towards me)

Patrick: Mommy! Don't grab me! That's my private part!

(I try to stop laughing. The librarians don't.)

Me: That's right Patrick, we don't touch private parts. But that's your shoulder.

Six Month

Dear Fiona: You are six months old!

This momentous birthday occured in the middle of Vacation Bible School. You parents gave a piece of their sanity to a roomful of three year olds. You found them fascinating and behaved very well, so entertained were you by all their screaming, running, and playing. Then I got really brave and left you in the nursery under the attentions of not one but three teenage girls. Sounds like the perfect ratio of babysitters to baby.


You've been achieving milestones all over the place this past month. I have no idea how it compares to your brother, which is a good thing. I want to enjoy each of you as you grow, without constantly drawing lists of firsts and seconds.

1. Crawling: the big one. You quickly went from hands and knees, rocking, tentative lungs and army crawls, to zipping all over the house. I'll set you down in the living room surrounded by interesting toys, then I turn around to find you have followed me into the kitchen. The baby gate has gone back up. Poor Patrick has to walk all the way around. You have been found with your hands on the first step and standing up! You crawl over pillows, our legs, and the dogs.


2. Solids: since we can't keep your hands away from our food, we've started feeding you a few things. I'm not sure you are actually eating any of them, but you enjoy the concept. You really just want to feed yourself. So I give you a spoon to play with and attempt to feed you with the other. Then you make a gigantic mess when I give up and just let you play with the whole darn bowl. Your bath quotient has increased significantly. And the dogs have discovered that babies in high chairs equal copious treats and hand licking.

3. Birthmark: we've started your medication to reduce your hemangioma. Daddy and I think it's working! It already looks less puffy, the edges are fading, and the redness has decreased. Giving you this funny tasting medication is a bit of a trip. Sometimes you are fine. Sometimes it's torture.

4. Sleeping: I'm finding that you don't want to snuggle in bed so much anymore. This makes me terribly sad. It's you, creeping away from that sweet new babyhood and into an older version of baby-ness. You will nurse in bed with me, then toss and turn until I creep onto the edge of the bed. You settle down into hard sleep in my spot on the mattress. But the crib is in your future. Daddy has found you with both hands on the rail working to pull yourself up. You took your first nap in your crib today, and you slept really well. Just like your brother, you will be ready for your crib way before Mommy is.

5. Sitting: You are sitting up. No longer tripoding.

6. Babbling: like crazy! Mostly Mamamamamama.

7. Teething: your first tooth just barely cut through. Not enough to see, but you can feel it!

Wow Sister! So much work this past month! How about taking it easy on your Mommy and just sleeping really great this next month.

I love you always my sweet girl!
Love
Mommy
ps. I promise you do occasionally wear clothes. I just never get pictures of you in them.

Cats more managable

I had a mini freak out about Patrick's behavior today. He's so impulsive! And busy! Why can't the boy just sit still, obey instructions, and make me look like an amazing parent? These other kids, some of them sit still. I hope all those kids scream for an hour at bedtime.

Kevin reassured me that he's a good kid, learns limitations with time and structure, and will be liked by his teachers and friends. I just want to hug him up and keep him with me forever. Or at least until he is a smelly teenager who only smiles at me for money. Or a ride somewhere.

VBS went well today. Our leader refined our schedule and it worked quite well. The three hours wears me out too! We all take naps afterwords. But I'm really enjoying the service to our church, and I'd do it again next year. Since I've got all these good ideas for improvement, I'd love to see them out!

I work tomorrow, so Kevin will take on VBS with the kiddos. 12 hours at the hospital versus four hours at church. I think I have it easier.

Herding Cats

Day one of Vacation Bible School: Baobab Blast

I'm working in the 3 year old room with Patrick's group. I've never volunteered for VBS. Hell, I've never even attended it as a student. But I feel strongly that if I use a church service, I need to give back to it as well.

I don't know if they've ever done a group for kids this young. Thank goodness the head teacher is also a pre-school teacher! She's great with the kids and has a good handle on the group.

We both agree that three hours is too long for this age. And they need more snacks. When we got home, Patrick told me for the first time "My tummy hurts!" I told him it needed food to feel better. After some crackers and a big glass of milk, he told me he needed a nap. Then he took one for three hours.

It's a sweet group of kids, with several just like Patrick! All twichy energy and lots of enthusiasm. 12 kids, 2 girls, 10 boys. That's a lot of boy energy in one room.

We've decided to add another snack time, get out of the room but not go up the stairs, two outdoor playtimes, and stories with pictures. Plus a good amount of free play.

And, oh yeah, talk about God. The curriculum is good, just difficult to simplify for this age. They are just a bit too young for it.

Another mom stayed with her kids, praise the good Lord in Heaven. So we had three adults to 12 kids. A 1:4 ratio of adults to kids is preferable, since many kids haven't been to a preschool structured atmosphere before. They need a lot of herding. And a couple of boys are definitely on the spectrum, although quite high functioning. They just get overwhelmed easily and need an adult to help them chill. Our youth helper is good, just young and needs direction of his own.

Oh, and I had Fiona with me as well. She was the easiest of all. Loved watching all the kids from her Baby K'Tan.

I'm helping Monday and Tuesday, Kevin has Wednesday, and we'll both be there Thursday and Friday. I'm hoping another parent will consider staying tomorrow as well. It really makes a difference.

It's nice to know my boy isn't the only kid who acts like a ding a ling :)