One good thing about hot weather

Danica the dog gets tired much faster.

But the pool does keep her going....after a short trip to the park, I watered my plants. Wanting to do my environmental part, I scooped some water from the dogs' pool in my watering can. Happy Day! as Danica the dog remembered her pool. And immediately laid down in it to have a drink.

Today I meet the acupuncturist, return overpriced makeup to the mall, pick up some more library books, and force myself to do some chores. A bit of painting has to be done before I can hang my new curtains. I'm so happy those Godawful venitian blinds are gone. It's my new goal to rid my house of them.

I got my wish for hot weather. God is a bit of an overachiever at times, I must say.

Mom made it back from Mexico. She had a lovely time and is full of interesting gossip.

We got a pool. For the dogs. Cost me 6.99 at Fred Meyer.

I have a sun hat. And a sun burn. Forgot myself a bit when I spent hours in the sun wearing SPF 6. Foolish girl.

But the best news is I was on call today. A free holiday! Tomorrow I see the acupuncturist.

And more sunshine. Yeah!

A good day to be Kevin

His wife wore shorts.

Then his wife wore a trashy bikini.

Then his wife said, "Let's get pizza for dinner."

And his wife is trying to get pregnant. Guess what else she has in mind?

weather

I have to work today. And there are clear skies at 5:49am!

So sad for me. Hopefully, I'll get to go home early when I work this weekend. Although it's really quite naughty of me. After Kevin gave me the go ahead to buy curtains, I went to IKEA. Like Costco, it's hard to get out of there for $100. Usually we are successful. Yesterday, I was not.

And then there was Target. For curtain rods.

Raissa and I shared tea at Mandolin Cafe, then she was sweet enough to come over to my house, have a beer, and stay for dinner with us.

While working in the hard yesterday, taming the beast, both our hedge trimmer and chainsaw broke. I'm sure we didn't have anything better to spend $200 on. And we are definately upgrading the chainsaw.

We also decided on art for the fireplace. I wanted something full of light balance the dark fireplace. No boring flower or senic prints for us. So we are getting "Birth of Venus" by Botteccelli. Art-dot-com has great deals on framing. We only have to pick a size.

Hi Mom

Mom is in Mexico. I haven't heard from her, so I have no idea if she's dead or alive. Could be dead in a ditch somewhere. But I'm sure she's fine. Mexico is a very safe country, unlike Ireland or England, which are cesspools of sin.

Lena called me last night to check up on me. Kevin hands me the phone as I'm reading outside. "It's Lena." he calmly states. Lena? From Sweden? We sounded like an 8th grade couple: "I miss you!" "I miss you!" "When are you coming home?" "We need to go out as soon as I get back!" It was 2am and still light outside in her neck of the woods. I'm so jealous. And she's the best.

Kevin and I are forcing our way through long procrastinated yardwork yesterday, with more on our plates today. It's so frustrating, spending time just to make the side look "not as bad." But the cost of landscaping the slope with every invasive plant known to the devil is so prohibitive. We'll have to hire a big portion of it out. As our time frame in this house keeps growing (seven to ten years now), we might actually get it done.

It's been a rough two weeks on the pregnancy front. I'm very discouraged and frustrated. I'm sad all too often, and work has been increasingly difficult. Between patients, co-workers, and friends, I'm surrounded by babies and pregnant bellies. To people who never had to work to get pregnant, who've never lost a pregnancy, who aren't aching for a baby, it's just too too hard for them to understand. And that's OK, lots of struggles that I don't understand out there. But that lost and left behind feeling is challenging.

But I've got a plan!

One, new projects. I need something else to think about. So I've got: budget/money planning, curtains and the fireplace mantle, front yard planting, photograph organizing. Two, cheaply look into stuff that might be getting in the way. I'm going to see an acupuncturist recommended by one of the midwives I work with and respect. I'm going to have some blood work done to check hormone levels and the like. I'm going to have an ultrasound done to see if my uterus is a common shape or something more artistic. I might have Kevin's sperm checked as well. Thanks to my hospital visit in February, I've already met my deductable for the year. So the acupuncture is covered 80% by insurance. Since my insurance is pretty crap, that's not too bad. And this can all be done by my care providers, not an infertility clinic.

But I did get a rather unusual story from my grandmother. My mom's folks celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary June 20th! She went out with her girlfriends, and he lost all his money at the casino and became a born-again Christain, again. She said that my Dad, when trying to have a baby with my Mom (always good to clarify these facts), was told by his doctor to "give strong sperm time to grow," and they needed to take a break in order to have a baby. So charming to know that my parents were having too much sex to get pregnant. I'll be sure to tell Kevin what our real problem is. :)

Conversations

Kevin and I have spent a large majority of our marriage in conversation. I'm thrilled to have a husband where no subject is off limits. I grew up in a family that talked about "almost" everything. Sex, money, death, drugs, AIDS, gansta haircuts, low cut tops....all were on the table and open for debate. But we weren't an argumentative type family. Just gossipy and bossy.

But lately, we have spent a lot of time talking about our relationships. With each other. With friends and family. With collegues, co-workers, and supervisors. Those we need and those who need us. How do we relate, both as individuals and as a married unit?

Three constant themes have developed.

One, we teach those around us how we are to be treated. We teach them what we will tolerate, and what we will not. Those around us, politely, oblige us by following these guidelines.

Two, we have no control and/or power with how others choose to behave around us. Rather than fight a losing power struggle, we have chosen to lay the desired power for choices at the feet of said others. Based on your choices, we will respond as kindly, compassionately, honorably, and honestly as we are able. Sometimes our abilities are stronger than others. But we do try, and we beg your pardon when we fall short. We are not interested in "playing nice." Kind honesty is more what we shoot for.

Three, there is no relationship worth the loss of our dignity, integrity, and self-respect.

My dad once told me that the right path would often be the most difficult path to walk. Not surprisingly, I find this continues to be true time and again.

The danger of reading old posts on friends blogs

I read about how excited they are about our baby due August 19th. The baby we are waiting just a little bit longer for. Sometimes I think about what I would look like now. What we would be doing. What plans would be progressing.

That is especially difficult.

Dear Annonymous

Thank you for the lovely comment. Who are you? A friend? A stranger? A lurker? Such mystery is hard to manage on a Saturday morning.

Mom left for Mexico this morning. I've been instructed to post daily so she doesn't worry ala The Missing Week in Ireland Incident. I'm in Tacoma. She's in another country. But she might worry.

Kevin's parents arrive in a few hours to spend the weekend with us. Looking forward to playing with our new toy. I guess the yardwork will just have to wait. Sigh.

Kevin got his big boy grill today. And in a feat of frugality worthy of Ben Franklin (of whom I'm reading a very intersting biography), he bargined for the floor model and got 20% off. We'll celebrate by grilling copper river salmon for Kevin's folks when they visit for Father's Day this weekend.

Another trip to the Zoo

Today it's with Jenny (another one) and Valerie from work. I'm hoping we can stay longer than 30 minutes, yesterday's time. Thank goodness for zoo memberships. I had a nice talk with Camille yesterday. My mom really was sweet on the phone. And I ate 3/4 pint Haagen Das Light Caramel Cone Ice Cream.

That will cheer me up, a bigger ass.

Wanker of the Year

I've added some new links to the "Visit Me" section on the sidebar of this blog.

MOM: look to the right in the blue section. Green type that says "Visit Me." Look down. Those are the links. Click on them to visit other blogs. You know these people. Camille lives in LA. Lena is the Swedish best girlfriend. Jay visited our house and cheated at cards with Dave. You really hit it off with Jay. He was your kind of guy.

Jay, I was recently informed, has a blog with baby pictures posted. On further examination, he's had this blog since LAST JULY. And never told me about it. Therefore, he is the wanker of the year. But he's a lovely writer, so I guess you can visit his blog anyway.

Ya'll can just skip this one it isn't funny

I had lots of funny stories to tell. About going to the zoo, playtime at Antique Sandwich Company, the farmers' market. About spending four hours with Raissa at The Spar last night celebrating her birthday. It was a better day.

Then I got some news that I just wasn't in the mood to hear. And I had one of the "Oh shit I said that out loud" moments that are so special. And then I felt sorry for myself and cried the rest of the day. And if I hear "Just relax" "Have hope" "It'll happen" "Your time will come" one more time, I'll end up in prision.

I simply wanted this one little thing to be easy. But I've been trying for a year, and nothing. I hate it. And most of you will never really get what this experience is like. Perhaps later, I'll be grateful. But for now, I'm only angry.

Funny Stories about Mom

Number One:
Mom, Kevin and I are sitting at Vin Grotto, enjoying a nice dinner before 1776 at Tacoma Little Theatre. If you want a cupon, let me know! We cooked her a nice lunch of Lemoncello Pasta, and now we were enjoying a favorite restaurant. As the check arrives, I turn to Mom and say (as I always do), "Thank you Mom for a lovely dinner." Without skipping a beat, Mom turns to me with a surprised look on her face and says, "Oh, were you thinking I was paying?" For a split second my face and brain froze. Then she laughed. "Just Kidding."

Number Two:
Mom and I are walking the dogs and solving the world's problems. Although that indicates we were discussing politics, current events, and the like. We were really just solving the problems of all our friends. Mom had just finished instructing me in the proper way to look both ways before crossing the street. Seriously. She had noticed I didn't check correctly the day before, and she had been worrying about it ever since. As an adult, I do find it a bit easier to tolerate such helpful information. Mom does it out of love, and since she does so many great things for me and Kevin, I can indulge her. She feels better after the saying of it, and we all move on. I told her this, kindly and with good humor, as we walked. "Oh, that's so nice of you," Mom says. "My mom does this to me and it still drives me nuts." "So your mom makes you crazy when she gives you this advice," I clarify, "But it's my job to listen and take seriously to the same advice when it comes out of your mouth?" "Yes" "Ok, glad we got that straight."

I seem to get my period before I go to work. Allowing me to be really grumpy and frustrated all day long, and I'm sure a pleasant working companion. Because I really can't talk about it without getting teary the first day (demonstated when Valerie asked when I might take a pregnancy test), I don't want to talk to anybody.

So I'm frustrated, discouraged, and feeling very sorry for myself.

But the half bottle of Parrot Bay Passion Fruit Rum I drank last night, that did much to help. At least I fell asleep easily.

Today is better. Still grumpy, though. Nobody gets an easy ride through life, but I really wanted this small part to be just a bit simpler.

Maintainence

Being a girly girl is very hard work.

I wonder how much of my life is spent keeping this look up. And this look isn't very technical. I like to look cute and all, but compared to some (and their $100+ visits to the salon) I don't spend too much money. But there is a wedding this weekend (Lori and Milton) and I want to be one cute girl at this party. Because face it, unless you are on a hot date or fishing for the evening, women dress for each other. With all love and respect, we are critiquing each other's hair, checking out whose ass is the smallest, and putting better bras on our dear friends who could use a bit of a boost.

In preparation for Sunday, I will:
1. color my hair. I do this myself at home for about $10. There is no way I could afford to do this at a salon. But I get loads of compliments on my color, so I'll stick with it.
2. get my brows waxed. This I pay for, because it just looks better. About $22 for 10 minutes of the girl's work. Not such a bad deal, for her.
3. pedicure at the cheap Korean place. Love those ladies.
4. shave my legs, and other bits.
5. slather on some self-tanner. My new favorite product and I'm madly in love. Kevin keeps me from getting too orange.
6. facial mask and pore strip.
7. clean up the fingernails.
8. mosturize, mosturize, mosturize.

This isn't counting the normal shower, make-up, hair bits that are part of daily life.

But it gives me something to do tonight while Kevin is off with the boys and I'm terribly jealous. As I'm also terribly cheap (and we hit the mall this morning. Great sales, but it's still money spent.) I'll get some girly stuff out of the way at home. We've got movies from the library, a bottle of Pino Grigio in the fridge, and happy post-walk dogs. Only one glass for me, though. Day 31 is Tuesday, so unless it's obviously not necessary, I'll take a pregnancy test. Lots of people with getting-pregnant issues have come up preggers, so I'm hopeful with the good vibes. June is busting out all over, and hopefully I will be as well. Kevin is a bit worried, however, because that would put the due date smack in the middle of tech week for "Carmen" in February. So we'll see....If not, I'll cry a bit and buy myself a new lipstick. And get drunk.

Errors and Updates

I'm having comment issues, will post them ASAP.

Jay just emailed me. So I'd forgotten some major details. At least I got the part about "It's a Boy" correct.

ELIJAH SCOTT
May 27th at 2009 Cesarian Birth (or as I call it at work "Unanticipated Plan B")
8lbs 9oz
21.5 inches long

Smooches on the baby kiddos!

My best friend, Lena, is off to Sweden. For six whole weeks. I already miss her, and I still have five weeks to go. Raissa and Alicia have promised to still call me. I can still go to play group to help the adults not be over run by children. They are still ahead by one. We just might maintain control.

Kevin's last show of the season, 1776, is perfection. Great cast, great costumes, Awesome set. But he had a brutal ten days building up to it. We have already agreed that it will never happen again. But the show is wonderful, and we have tons of cupons.

During this insanely brutal time, I started using my fertility monitor. On the off chance my mother-in-law reads this post, I won't describe how my peak fertility window coinsided with sixteen hour days at the theater. But you can email me, and I'll tell you all about it.

To thank my patient and giving husband, last Sunday he had a 90 minute massage with Molly at Foxfire Salon. Major wife points.

My new glasses are here. It's really nice to see street signs while driving. And they are supercute. Everybody at work is quite aware they are Kate Spade glasses. Even if I don't mention it, another girl will pipe up with that compelling info. My work girls, they are the best.

We bought our entertainment system from IKEA on tax-free Memorial Day weekend sale. Looks great. The office still looks like a disaster. Just with less books.

Lori and Milton get married this weekend. I'm wearing the same outfit I've worn to the last two weddings. With the great bra, of course. Kevin has a purse/sporin that he HAD to have. "But I'll wear it all the time!" At least he uses that for clothes and not cars. "Baby, but I'd use the 2007 Subaru WRX every day!" We love how our friends keep getting married, because it's like our very own party! With parents. And people from Church. So I guess I can't give details about being Lori's roommate.....very loudly. But come sit next to me and I might feel chatty. Hell, I always feel chatty.

Work is busy, 328 deliveries last month. Our high average is 300. And summer doesn't look like it is slowing down at all. Yee Haw. We've had some interesting stuff....not for the internet, of course. But I can say that we have an AMAZING crew in the maternity ward. And we can pull it together like nobody's business.

Jay and Chenoah are the proud new parents of Baby Issiah Scott! Unfortunately, I've forgotten all the details. Jay, maybe you could comment them for the class? We love you and are so happy for you guys! Hope the dogs are adjusting well.

I hope I still have readers

Hello folks

The internet was down for two weeks along with the entire damn computer.

First, things started to slow down. Thinking it was the RAM, Kevin bought some more. No change. We bought Norton's Antivirus, and the computer wouldn't boot up enough to load it. This is trouble we thought. Naturally, this happened as Kevin was hitting a horrid busy time at work.

Several motherboards later, along with a combustable power source and a bunch of other computer stuff that I'm happy to be ignorant of, we have a working computer. I'm sorry to have been gone so long, it's just that I didn't have a good computer to post.

A big shout out and a thank you to Andy Grimberg, our personal computer savior. Without his personal visits to our home (during which he was so tolerant of our naughty girls), we'd still be struggling. He even ate my cooking. He was the biggest help and so wonderful to come over to our house despite his busy life. Kevin and I are so grateful.