Gee, I wonder what the child wants

Patrick is one year old. There isn't much that can't be on his menu. Whole milk is now fine, he's had peanut butter just fine, and so far we are blessed by the lack of apparent allergies and intolerances. He definitely has some favorites, but is willing to try lots of stuff. Meal times are a strange mix of independence and the lack of it. It's a 50/50 balance with Patrick feeding himself and me feeding him. Patrick loves to play with the silverware. He bangs on his tray, uses a sippy-cup like it's going out of style (no more bottles!), and is very skilled at dog-feeding. The dogs now appreciate the arrival of Patrick with the continuous supply of graham crackers.

So now I get the question (with all politeness and love):
"How much longer are you going to nurse?"

The answer: I have no idea.

Wrong, I have some ideas.

Currently, Patrick shows no signs of self-weaning. He has become one of those children you see walking around sticking their hands down some poor lady's shirt and screaming. I am that poor lady. He REALLY loves his Mommy. And while I'm starting to set a few boundaries about when he gets to nurse, I don't have any issues nursing in public.

He had the ultimate nursing experience the Fourth, however. Sitting with my lovely Mamma friends, Patrick was 1) naked 2) nursing 3) kicking my other breast with his foot 4) reaching around his thigh to reassure himself that his penis had not left the building.

I still love nursing. Patrick doesn't bite me. It's the world's best calm-down tool. It settles him down for naps and reacquaints us in the morning. It's slowly becoming the last vestige of his baby-hood as he develops all these independent skills.

But I don't think I'll want to tandem nurse a newborn and a toddler. And I would like to get pregnant sometime in the next 12 months. We are at the "Not trying but Not preventing" stage. I still haven't had a cycle, but I suspect I'm ovulating (graphic details spared). I'm thinking that by January I'll significantly reduce nursing to one nap and bedtime if I'm not pregnant by then, just to have the best chance at ovulating regularly. Unlike some who can get jumped in the laundry room and conceive :), you lucky dirty birds, I'm guessing that it will take a bit of coordinating again.

And while the idea of another baby is delightful, I'll be sad to stop nursing Patrick. It's been one of my favorite parts of Mommy-hood and Baby-hood. I love the bond that it's created between us, the specialness and the exclusivity. I gladly give up the activities and plans that are not compatible with nursing (like being gone at bedtime). I love nursing, and I consider myself very blessed that it's worked so well.