My stepmom turned 50 years old today.
OK, technically she's not my stepmom, and hasn't been for a number of years. But saying "My dad's second ex-wife" just doesn't have the same ring. She is also occasionally known as TWSM (The Wicked Stepmother), and we sure got a good laugh when the movie "My Stepmother is an Alien" came out.
Cindy married my dad when I was about 10 years old. I idolized her for quite a while, then I just loved her. Even though after she married my dad, he quit buying us twinkies. He also stopped buying powdered milk, so I guess it all balances out.
She brought my two other brothers into my life. Soon the baby joined the bunch, beginning a long life of being spoiled totally rotten and getting all the Christmas presents. Five kids. I was the only girl. I always had to babysit, but I never did yardwork.
Cindy and these brothers are the best presents of my childhood. But this letter is to Cindy, and not my baby brothers (who are mostly grownup. Mostly).
She was so very good to my brother, David, and me. I never felt anything less than special and loved with her. She paid me to brush her hair. $0.50 for 30 minutes. Later she gave me her old clothes and makeup. She (mostly) pretended not to find my completely inappropriate romance novels. She was a fantastic stepmom. Supportive without stepping into the parent role. All of us kids were blended into one giant family, and I give her all the credit for making that happen.
It can't have been easy, being married to an alcoholic. We were protected more than I'll ever truly know by her, from the horrible realities of addiction. I think she still protects us, for which I am grateful.
So why is this so outstanding? I had a good stepfamily...many do.
They got a divorce. I was 19 years old, confused and stuck in the middle. My dad was losing the battle with his demons, and fought against my relationship with Cindy. For one long year, I pushed her away. It wasn't loyal to still love her, I was told.
What did she do? She waited for me.
Blessings be, I figured it out on my own. I decided that I loved her and wanted her in my life. And there has never been any word of guilt or blame, only welcoming arms and heart. She forgave me and took me back, her other great gift to me.
Cindy is the mom of my heart, a source of tremendous strength and support, comfort and love. She is a beautiful grandmother (or Mimi Cindy) to my son, and plays with him in a natural, easy way that is perfect to watch. She and my own mom are good friends, which is truly the coolest thing EVER. They watch The Bachelor together, and my mom joins Cindy's family events. It's a riot.
So happy birthday, to my very own wicked stepmother. You are so very loved, and I consider myself blessed to be one of your daughters. Thank you for everything.
6 comments:
I don't know why this is funny to me, but your lovely love letter brought real tears to my eyes. (the fact that I'm crying is funny, not your letter) I have also had a stepmom on and off since I was about 10, but my story is not nearly as filled with love and positive memories. It was 8 years of hell, followed by 8 years of beautiful silence after my dad separated with her. What is the point of this? They just recently got back together, and now I am faced with being the mature adult and rebuilding a relationship with "her", my very own wicked stepmother. And the rebuilding is working. It's difficult, but I think we are building a nice relationship.
Anyways - thank you for sharing your stepmother story. Reading it was a jolt in my heart, knowing that such a relationship is possible even through complicated circumstances. You give me hope!
Well, you made ME cry ...
Happy Birthday Cindy!
And Jenny, one can never have too many moms!
Ironically, my mom turned 50 on the 21st. I can't believe Cindy is! Even though I've just met her a handful of times (and I'm not claiming to know her well), your explanation of her is perfect. What a lucky girl you are to have her. :)
I'm crying too! Is it a full moon?
J enny I am typing this thru tears. I have always said the best thing to come out of marrying your dad was all you kids (and your mom of course). I enjoyed getting to watch you grow into the beautiful woman that you are. Thank you for my love letter. I will treasure it always and put it in my underwear drawer with my other things that are to be kept forever. I must say though that good hair brushers are hard to find anymore. Maybe if I start Patrick young...... TWSM - I love you
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