DAT!

"Don't go home and google this. It will just freak you out."

This was the sage advice that Miss Carol, Patrick's speech therapist, gave us after discussing his diagnosis of Pediatric Speech Apraxia. I did not take that advice. Kevin had to talk me down after catching me crying at the computer screen. But first he said, "Quit looking that shit up on the computer!"

Until Patrick turned two, I wasn't worried about his speech development. All kids develop at their own pace. Friends told me, "Boys always talk later." I was reassured by others that their kid didn't do much talking until three or so. But he wasn't just late, he wasn't talking at all. Speech development guidelines suggested that most two year olds had a vocabulary of about 50 words and also showed lots of mimicry and babbling. I was hard pressed to think of 10 words, and he wasn't making animal noises or other sounds that would exhibit some development. An aquaintance-friend had a child with a speech delay, and they discovered a significant hearing loss at three years old. Not wanting to miss something, I asked our pediatrician for a referral to a speech pathologist.

He testing about a year behind in speech development. Six months later we got off the waiting list and onto a regular session with Miss Carol on Wednesday mornings. She said we got Patrick in at the perfect time. He's interested in learning and hadn't been "turned off" yet. Carol explained that apraxia occurs when brain wiring is just a bit screwed up. These kids have a hard time retrieving words and sounds. They can say 'baby' but can't put the b sound with bubble. It can take a long time for new words to stick, and their vocabulary develops slowly. A problem can develop when a kid gets so used to failing in their speech that they no longer want to try.

Patrick was very excited to try and pleased with his successes. We loved watching him focus and learn. Even though growth was and is slow, his progress has thrilled us. Being able to communicate with him has been such a gift. And we are now seeing the reality our friends told us about. "Once he starts talking, he'll never stop!"

Patrick's vocabulary is growing quickly now. He tries new words all the time, mimics us constantly, and is persistent when we don't catch on right away. We are getting sentences! He can still be difficult to understand, as he rarely puts letters on the end of words. C's and K's are still tough for him, as are Gr's. But the improvement over the last six months has been outstanding.

Kevin and I still have our moments of struggle when we hear kids his age (or younger) talk with greater fluency or clarity. We worry that Patrick can't stand up for himself because he can't clearly give his side of the story. I still worry that his speech with make it harder for him to make friends later on. There is no way to tell how long he might need speech therapy, or when his apraxia will be "fixed." Some kids need help through second grade, Carol said.

But I'm grateful we were in a position to get help early on. The school district wouldn't assess him until he's three years old. We have an appointment for September, but by then he might be doing well enough that he won't qualify for the state programs. We have insurance to help with the cost. And it's just not a good year for our family if SOMETHING doesn't come up for us to pay $1000+ for unforseen medical expenses. At least this feels like it's worth it.