Hello Mrs. Myers, is your groove missing?

Yes.

Because I can't have just one neurotic crisis at a time.

The post baby-body blues were hitting particularly hard. It seems so easy the first time. I ate whatever I wanted, breastfed, walked my sweet puppies, and the weight melted off. By the next summer I was back in my bikini and feeling pretty good about it. But this time life had conspired against me. Horrid winter weather kept me (and my neglected puppies) indoors both before and after Fiona was born. My pain issues in my back and hips were well documented during this pregnancy. And the jump from one to two children blew both Kevin and I out of the water.

I also struggled with balancing the needs of everybody in the house on my baby. Children wanted nursing, cuddling, holding, carrying, playing, and snuggling. The doggies wanted walking, petting, and scratching. The husband wanted...all of the above. So here I was with this body that was unfamiliar and frustrating, and the whole damn crowd wanted a piece of it.

I vented and whined to my husband. What do I do about this? How do I feel better about myself?

What else would Kevin suggest except shopping?

As a side note, my husband has NEVER ONCE told me I couldn't buy something I wanted. He's quite lucky that he's married to somebody cheap (although not as cheap as my mother. Hi Mom!). But if he was married to somebody like an unnamed coworker who said, "I need a new purse, I've had this Coach purse for two whole years" it might be a different story.

I was excited to go shopping but frustrated as well. I had lots of clothes, just none of them fit. Not even my early pregnancy fat clothes. And even though I was sick of my maternity clothes I had a hard time getting rid of them because I could still wear them! But I forced myself to clean them out. I knew I'd never buy a thing if they were still in my closet. And it felt so GOOD to get them out of there. (Emily, they are in bags waiting for you!) Then I took another look through my regular clothes to see if anything would work. While most pants needed some more time, a number of shirts were fine.

We had a shopping date one Friday night after a dinner party cancellation fell into our laps. With the baby sitter already scheduled, we decided to hit the mall. There was no time for leisurely perusal of various stores and sale racks. I just hit Old Navy and called it good. I now have two nice pairs of pants and one pair of shorts.

I also got a haircut, jazzed up my color a bit, purchased some new skin care, and got rid of the granny panties. I feel like I'm heading in the right direction. The weight is slowly coming off, and Kevin and I are getting a good routine in place with the kids. He's doing so great with the kids while I'm at work that it's easy to pop out for a dog walk on my own.

It's still too slow for me, but it's just the way it is. But inspired by my 90 minute massage gift certificate from Kevin for Mother's Day, I'm saving my allowance for a spa day!