Me: What a busy day I've had, and I've had Patrick with me ALL DAY. But I did your Christmas shopping, you are going to have a great Christmas! Don't ask where I was....
Husband: How did Patrick do at the mall?
Me: Great! He slept the whole time.
Husband: So you DID go to the mall!
Me: Asshole.
Husband smiles like a clever five year old.
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