21.5 months

Dear Patrick: You are 21.5 months old! A toddler!


Sigh.


I love you, my sweet wonderful boy. And you are challenging me to No End at this time. Toddlerhood is tough on your Mommy. You just want things so badly. To play in the sink. To play with the box of cereal. To play with my razor. To play with my very expensive make-up. And you do not take kindly to being re-directed. However, it gives you the opportunity to practice your favorite work "No" quite often.


I'm still rather fixated on your language skills. I'm sure that you are trying to tell me more than I am understanding. And occasionally a phrase comes through loud and clear. Today it was "My Daddy" after another Daddy joined an impromptu playdate at the house. (And if you are going to make me insane, can't you at least say Mommy? Throw a girl a bone, here.) Everybody, including your father, tells me to be patient, that you will make way in your own time. But it's hard, my darling boy. Even if I can't give you what you want, I can at least address it. That would be nice.

You are almost done nursing, and I find that I am ready. Once a day, at nap time. And after a few days of detoxing from Grandma Party Weekend, we'll be slowly tapering that off as well. You are ready too, I think. You are usually more ready for change than I give you credit for. The challenge comes with finding a new naptime routine. It's just so EASY to nurse you to nap. As with most of my parenting issues, giving up convenience for growth gets me every time.

Every day I find something new that you have learned. At Raissa's I realized you could match colors, as you placed differently colored balls on their matching holes. You quickly master new puzzles, even ones with two pieces that fit together. You are very tactile, and like to figure out how things fit together. But you shine in your physical skills. Jumping, climbing, and running keep you very busy at the playground. And you finally like the swing as well (for a little bit).

It's hard to keep up with you, both physically and emotionally. There are many days when I feel like I'm just not on top of it. I worry that you are "running the house" and I'm doing doing well by you as your Mom. I now see how easy it is to just want to make your kids happy, but doing so cheat them out of important personal skills. Like patience, self-discipline, respect for others. I hate seeing you upset, but I know I'm not doing you any favors by giving in. It's very hard, my sweet boy. I'm reminded of a comment I hear from lots of parents in various forms. "These traits will make him a wonderful adult, but a very hard child." At this moment, those words ring true.



Yet you remain fun, loving, playful, exhuberant, and constantly on the go. You are my number one, sweet Patrick. I love you so much. I'm sorry I don't know what I'm doing right now. But neither do you, so I guess we're even.

Love
Mommy