Where I tell Kevin we'll be broke and sleep deprived

I'd been "late" before.

Twice before, in fact. Seven days, then eleven days. Took a combined four pregnancy tests, and my heart broke with every single line. So I decided that I was just going to wait.

And I waited. Every deadline set came and went with no action on my part. I didn't feel any different. No puking, no nausea, no insane moodiness. I just couldn't get past the idea of another negative.

Until the day after my birthday. I knew I was getting close. NEEDING to know, one way or another. But chicken, very chicken. And I hate being afraid, of anything. Therefore, I knew I'd end up taking a test. Not at home, however.

While doing errands, I drove to the Pearl Place Midwives at 12:30. Perhaps, with lots of begging, they would do the test!

They were closed for lunch. Now what.

So I hung out at the library for 30 minutes. Got a cheesy paperback to shove in my purse, as I hate to be without reading material for longer than a 30 second wait. I get antsy. Then back to the office, finally open. Naturally, I ran into somebody from work. Fabulous. Make casual small talk. Interested eye contact from co-worker, but more polite than me and didn't ask intrusive questions. I stand in line, and creep up to the receptionist when my turn arrives.

"I don't have an appointment, but could you possibly do a pregnancy test today?" I look and sound like a wife whose husband has been out of town during the "key" moment. God knows what she thought, but the receptionist kept a straight face as she responded, "Let me check with the nurse and we'll see what we can do." If I'd looked pleased as punch, I would have gotten the brush off. Looking like hysterics were possible got me in the door.

They had time, I peed in the cup, and waited for ten hours (minutes, but really) flipping the pages of my unread paperback in the lobby.

My name was called and I was escorted to the nurse's office.

"Well, you're pregnant."

Sniff. Tears.

"Is this a surprise?"

"No, but I was too chicken to do it at home again."

She smiled, and we began.

Now I get to tell Kevin! I can't call him, I can't do some big lead up or he'll guess, and I can't call Mom for ideas. So I steal one from Valerie, another co-worker. I buy a baby picture frame and card from Target. The card says "Mommy and Daddy." With a silver sharpie I write "August 19th 2006" on the card and place it in the frame. Then I shove it in my purse and call Kevin.
Hey babe! You're at home? I've just been running errands, but I'll be home soon!

He's playing on the computer. I casually walk in the door. I take the frame out of my purse and shove it in front of his unsuspecting face. "What do you think of this?"

He pauses the game. Gets a good look.

Really? Really. A big hug. And "I guess here we go."

That's right baby.