It started with telling Dr. C, "I had a miscarriage three weeks ago" when he asked, smiling, how I was doing. His wife got pregnant at about the same time I did. We shared a lovely conversation and congratulated each other. She's over 14 weeks now and doing great. He was kind, uncomfortable, unsure how I wanted to handle it. "Is it hard to talk about other people's babies?" He sweetly asked. "No, not any more," I lied.
Today I worked with a girlfriend having her second baby. She got pregnant, twice, easy as chocolate pie. Everybody asks her how she is doing. She shows off her belly and discusses names. Another girlfriend is just returning from maternity leave. She brought pictures of her gorgeous girl and fussed over her work schedule. She said she'd been thinking of me. The rest talk about their various children, talk about having more babies.
I took breaks to cry in the bathroom. I don't think I was missed.
Perhaps that's the problem with Doing Alright. People start to believe you.
5 comments:
*big bearhug*
*crying*
Ah, lass. It'll take time to heal this wound. And, like most major losses, the pain may never go completely away, but will hopefully recede to the point that it's bearable, and then to where it's just an unhappy memory. Don't be too hard on yourself, expecting it to be okay too soon -- we are deeply emotional creatures, and (at least in my personal experience) trying to deny that to "get back to good" more quickly just makes the process longer and more painful.
Hang in there, and know that there are a good number of people who love you & Kevin and will be more than happy to share our strength with you as you go through this time of mourning.
*hugs*
My dear Jenny, I'm so sorry. Keep doing happy things and hopefully this will all go away soon. I'm thinking of you.
Hang in there Jen Your day will come
Our prayers and thoughts are with you Jenny, as always call us if you need anything even if its just to get away for a weekend to the beach :)
Jay
Our prayers are with you as always, call if you need anything even a get away weekend at the beach with dogs
Jay
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